Benevolent Bug Bites and a Not So Great Movie About Infidelity and Pies and Such!
I sheepishly stand before you on this eleventh day of June to make a rattleheaded confession.
I canceled this morning's doctor appointment.
Now, before you throw your arms to the sky and roll your eyes into the back of your head, let me say this: Silas seems to be sprucing up.
I called my doctor. I actually spoke to my doctor. I said, "Silas was acting a bit menacing on Friday, but he was fairly tranquil over the weekend and is now actually being quite charming and unselfish."
My doctor answered with a big, "A few times I've been around that track, so it's not just gonna happen like that. Cuz I ain't no hollaback girl. I ain't no hollaback girl."
So I said, "Do you mean I should call you if he doesn't clear up completely by the end of the week?"
And she said, "Now that it's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each other. You can stand under my umbrella, ella ella eh eh eh."
And just now, as I searched out even more typical pop lyrics to make my doctor seem unsophisticated and uninspired, Silas opened his tiny tiny mouth and yelled "God be with you until we meet again! Vive valeque!"
Such a debonair little scab, no?
By the way, I saw Waitress over the weekend. And I wanted to like it. I really wanted to like it. (I haven't been to a movie in over a year, people. I really really wanted to like it!)
I didn't like it.
Perhaps I need to control my high apple pie in the sky hopes before stepping out.
Get it?! Pie! High apple pie! Oh! Time to drive my Chevy to the levee! HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Au revoir, Silas. I offer you an open-mouthed kiss.
Submitted by
Betsy
at 6/11/2007 3:18:12 PM- There's no chance that canceling the appointment was a result of Stockholm Syndrome, right? Silas isn't going to convince you to knock over a bank or anything?
Submitted by
jen
at 6/11/2007 3:31:33 PM- See? I like to talk to people in lyrics. I think that I really could last all day long in Lyric Talk.
Me and your dr. would get on famously.
My son? He sings the umbrella song ALL THE TIME.
There is nothing quite so sweet...
Submitted by
kerflop
at 6/11/2007 3:33:19 PM- The lyrics are "Cuz I ain't no hollaback girl. I ain't no hollaback girl"?? I'm not even going to TELL you what I thought they were.
Am musically challenged.
Submitted by
TheQueen
at 6/11/2007 4:48:29 PM- Oh, dang it. I hate it when people write things I want to steal. Now you have dibs on people in authority responding with pop songs. Damn.
Submitted by
You can call me, 'Sir'
at 6/11/2007 5:09:52 PM- It appears that Silas has poisoned your brain. Victory is his.
Submitted by
Tonja
at 6/11/2007 7:23:07 PM- You are mighty hilarious!
I was just at my doctor today and he called me by the wrong name. He walked in and said:
Gloria, Gloria, I think they got your number.
I think they got your alias, that you've been living under.
I went with it and said:
Doctor Doctor, can't you see I'm burning burning?
Oh doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling?
He said it was in fact love, and not a yeast infection. Because of that, I'll let him continue to call me Gloria.
Sorry, on an 80's kick today!
Submitted by
Mocha
at 6/11/2007 11:08:53 PM- You are a funny funny gal. You make me want to practice singing in the shower for the next time I go to the doctor. Perhaps it would be best if it wasn't the gynecologist, but I'm good either way. He likes my singing.
Submitted by
gasoline hobo
at 6/12/2007 1:46:52 PM- i kinda wanted to see that movie, but figured there wouldn't be much point, as i'd probably just end up staring at her hair anyway.
i think she's the only person in the world whose hair is more famous than she is.
except maybe ed grimley.
Submitted by
mizmell
at 6/13/2007 11:19:19 AM- So... my husband in correct? You can actually ignore things and they will go away on their own? Geez! When I think of all the time I have wasted worrying...
High Apple Pie... you just attached a name to Bossy's craving.