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A big welcome to the F word!

You know, it’s really not a big deal when your house is without full power for a few days and you have a big electrically charged tree hanging from your roof and your phone line is hanging out on top of your kids’ playhouse--making internet access (and phone calls!) impossible. Not a big deal at all, Laura Ingalls Wilder!

When eleven days have passed and you’re STILL without full power, phone, or internet, it starts to become a big deal.

And I know I sound like a fat whiny baby when I’m all, "Boo hoo. I haven’t been able to check e-mail for eleven days and blah, blah, blah..."

All this to say: I’m about to use the F word. Not in anger, but in the context of a story! It’s the first F word for the recently refurbished Fluid Pudding! And because I’m starting to get a little pissed about living in a house that could possibly catch fire Any Minute Now, I think the F word is appropriate.

(By the way, I’m typing this at my parents’ house. We have driven thirty miles south to do our laundry--because until our power is fixed, we cannot do our laundry at home. Unless we use washboards and clothes pins. By the way, I used to own a jaw harp.)

Scene: Thanksgiving morning. MC and I are having one of those precious moments in which we cook together. We are making an apple salad and pretending that it is for our fabulous new restaurant.

Me: So, who will come to our restaurant?

MC: Mombo and Baba. Spongebob. Daddy. Aunt Boogie.

Me: I hope they like apple salad!

MC: I know what we can call our restaurant!!!

Me: What should we call it?

MC: Fuck a Duck’s.

Me: Okay. But know that we shall never speak of it by name. At least not in front of The Others.

And to that guy who keeps coming here and leaving the 32,053 word comment about 9/11, would you please stop it? Because if you leave that comment One More Time, I’m going to add your name to the No Service Ever list at Fuck a Duck’s. Seriously.

Also, I know it’s not Monday. I’m trying my best over here. And why can't I save my entries in Ariel x-small anymore? Oh, the humanity!

Welcome to Fuck a Duck's. Try the guacamole.

Posted by: Angela on 12/10/2006 10:48:52 AM , 10 comments
Submitted by chasmyn at 12/9/2006 3:55:51 PM
    Man, that sucks you're still without power, not to mention that it's really scary that the live wire hasn't been removed from the top of your house.

    I'm so eating at Fuck a Duck's when I'm next in town.

    Will you share your apple salad recipe?
Submitted by Natasha at 12/9/2006 5:27:00 PM
    I particularly like the layout of your site and the name of your restaurant. Although you might attract some seriously dodgy clientel.

    Fingers crossed that you get your electricity back soon.
Submitted by Suebob at 12/9/2006 5:41:57 PM
    Sounds good to me. Will you have my fantasy restaurant menu category for me - "Things on Toast"?

    Comment spam urk. My food blog got shut down because I ignored it for a couple months and it got infested with really foul obscene comment link spam. Each post had a comment that had about 1000 links to every sucky fucky teen tittie thing on earth. Ugh. Spammers must die.
Submitted by H at 12/9/2006 7:34:18 PM
    poor you!

    Have you started a family jug band by now? I predict Rattlesnake Bit the Baby will be your breakout hit song. You can play gigs at the family restaurant while the audience eats apple salad wearing Fuck a Duck t-shirts.

    But only once you have ekletricity back. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Submitted by mom on a wire at 12/10/2006 2:03:22 AM
    I love that soap sniffin' foul mouthed little girl.

    And also- how are you liking "Fall On Your Knees"? I really enjoyed that book.

Submitted by RzDrms at 12/10/2006 9:33:34 PM
    hi. mc rocks. that is all.
Submitted by Jessica at 12/10/2006 10:54:11 PM
    Fuck A Duck -- I LOVE it!
Submitted by Stacie at 12/11/2006 9:00:51 AM
    Holy Crap! Did MC really say Fuck a Duck's?? She must hire my daughter who enjoys asking me to "soak her ass in the tub". Lovely! LOL ;-}
Submitted by Amy in KC at 12/11/2006 10:01:12 AM
    Now I can finally get my in-laws off my back by telling them all I really want for Christmas is a "Fuck a Duck's" t-shirt.

    Thanks! You're a lifesaver!
Submitted by Carroll at 12/11/2006 3:16:05 PM
    Holy cow! Eleven days??? 30 miles to do laundry??? NO E-MAIL or INTERNET????? The mind boggles! I'd say some serious whining is entirely permissible under such circumstances.

    Hope the apple salad was well-received at the fambly festivities.

    And, MC...heh...can't wait until you tell us how she's shared that little entrepreneurial aspiration with the next adult who asks what she wants to be when she grows up!
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