Day Twenty Two: This is a story about my toilet. Happy Thanksgiving!
Our toilet broke almost a month ago.
The pipe in the basement started dripping a tiny bit with every flush.
We planned on fixing it, but only because the drip was occurring within inches of my wedding dress.
(Where should I be storing that thing to keep it safe? In the trunk of my car? Between my mattresses?)
Anyway, because we do what we do, we sort of conveniently forgot about the drip until the drip turned into a leakage onto the bathroom floor. Every time we flushed, water oozed out from around the bottom of the toilet all over the floor. And, boy, that really made me crabby. You don't even want to know the things I yelled and slammed around on The Day The Toilet Started to Spit.
Because Jeff was at work, I did what any relatively normal girl would do.
I called my dad.
And even though he had worked that day from five in the morning until three in the afternoon, he packed up his tools and came over.
In other words, after putting in a ten hour day, he drove thirty minutes to our house and stared down a pipe that smelled like, well, raw sewage.
Dad: Hello down there!
Voice in the Pipe (VIP): Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Dad: Did you just say something?!
VIP: Let us leave pretty women to men devoid of imagination.
Dad: Um, yeah. I was just kidding with that whole Hello Down There thing.
VIP: People who are not in love fail to understand how an
intelligent man can suffer because of a very ordinary woman. This is
like being surprised that anyone should be stricken with cholera
because of a creature so insignificant as the comma bacillus.
(The ghost of Proust resides in plumbing system.)
Anyway, so Dad fixed the toilet, thereby saving us something like $27,932.
And three days later he drove up just to deliver us some of his famous chili, because that's how he is.
And today is his birthday.
Happy Birthday, Dad!
(And Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who don't celebrate my dad's birthday.)
((And Good Thursday to the rest of you.))
Submitted by
tut-tut
at 11/22/2007 10:43:03 AM- Your dad looks like a very good soul indeed. Happy birthday to him and Thanksgiving to you all.
Submitted by
twomittens
at 11/22/2007 11:13:12 AM- Happy Birthday FP Handy Dad!
I am also thankful for my Handy Dad. Even though it's not his birthday. Or Thanksgiving.
I'm in Canada. No turkey here today.
But I am thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Submitted by
Carroll
at 11/22/2007 12:11:52 PM- Happy birthday, Angie's Dad!!!!! And many happy gobbles with your good family :-)
Submitted by
TX Poppet
at 11/22/2007 12:52:59 PM- Wishing you and yours a peaceful, joyful Thanksgiving.
Submitted by
witchypoo
at 11/22/2007 2:06:20 PM- Happy Birthday, Dad who speaks to voices in pipes.
Happy Thanksgiving to the rest of you turkeys.
Submitted by
Surcie
at 11/22/2007 10:20:04 PM- Hurray for handy dads!
And happy thanksgiving to you and yours!
Submitted by
gasoline hobo
at 11/23/2007 12:30:06 AM- the ghost of proust is in your plumbing?
that is GENIUS!
i think dom deluise is in mine. i get a lot of wheezing sometimes.
Submitted by
Alli
at 11/23/2007 7:42:45 AM- Yay for awesome dads, you are so lucky!
Submitted by
Mizmell
at 11/23/2007 8:40:26 AM- In my world as well, if you want something done right and right away, call Pop (my daddy). He's 73 and still moves like his ass is on fire.
Submitted by
Sara
at 11/23/2007 9:40:50 AM- Yay, Dad!
We had the same problem recently. We were told there is a wax ring on which the apparatus sits, sealing the water away from the floor, that ours had cracked, and that the plumber had seen fit to replace it when fixing the problem with not just one brand new similar wax ring, but two.
I took this as a slur about my weight. Obviously our plumbing has more to do with Don Rickles than Proust.
Submitted by
FP
at 11/23/2007 11:20:57 AM- Thanks, everyone!
All Adither--Eww! You're right! He SHOULD be wearing a mask!
Sara--That is EXACTLY what he replaced! And, sadly, to make sure the toilet smooshed the wax down enough, *I* was the one asked to sit on it. I *am* grateful that it was presented as a simple, "Hey, Ang? Do me a favor and sit on this for a second." rather than, "Who's the lardass?! Come HERE, Lardass!!"
Submitted by
Suebob
at 11/23/2007 2:53:17 PM- My plumbing is acting up, too. I think that November is the time of year that plumbing starts Getting Ideas.
My shower smells like the Black Hole where sewage went to die. And there is nothing quite as relaxing as a nice hot steamy sewage smell shower!
Now I gotta try and get my cheap landlord to try and fix it. The last time involved 3 days of no water and multiple plumber/landlord crack sightings.
Anyway, so Dad fixed the toilet, thereby saving us something like $27,932.
And three days later he drove up just to deliver us some of his famous chili, because that's how he is.
Too funny.
I have a history of plumbing disasters. At least your dad can fix a toilet. Despite being the son of a plumber, mine is hopelessly inept when it comes to repairing slimy, smelly things.