The First Pudding Family Meeting
Because I'm always feeling like a complete zero as a mom, I recently decided to jump headfirst into a vat of chattering self-help books.
One of the books I purchased was New Family Traditions. And don't even make fun of me, because last night I employed one of the suggestions in the book, and it actually worked for us. Sort of.
You see, I sometimes believe that our household is completely chaotic because we don't do anything with any amount of regularity.
We are a Seat o' the Pants gang, and that often comes in handy, but it also works against us.
(Disclaimer: By "us" I mean "us." I do not mean "you.")
Yesterday I cracked the book open (figuratively, because I never crack my spines. If you ever borrow a book from me and you crack the spine, I'll be secretly pissed at you for years. Don't worry. I'll never confront you. But I'll ALWAYS REMEMBER.) and read the introduction where it talks about the importance of ritual. The author suggests that you should choose a "troublesome" time of day, and throw in a fun ritual to shake things up!
Troublesome time of day at the Pudding house = Bedtime.
So, last night at bedtime when things started getting, um, troublesome, I yelled out that everyone needs to go sit on Meredith's bed, because it's time for a meeting.
The four of us got onto the bed, and I asked everyone to go around and say one thing that happened during the day that made them angry.
Me: I'll start. Today it made me really angry when I needed two AA batteries, and I couldn't find any.
Meredith: It made me really mad when I wanted a cookie but you said no.
Harper: It made me really mad when you threw away Laptop, because he was my first puppy.
Jeff: I bumped my head on the car door today. That made me angry.
Me: Good. Okay. NOW let's go around the circle and say one thing that makes us really happy. And then it's bedtime.
Meredith: No. I want to do more angry things. Sometimes you make me really angry.
Harper: I'm still angry that I don't have my puppy. You threw him away, and I'm very mad.
Meredith: I want to eat candy sometimes, and you tell me that I have to eat lunch first, and that makes me angry!!!
Harper: I wish I had my puppy! I'm very angry.
Me: Okay. Happy! I'm happy that you girls sang to Grandpa today for his birthday.
Meredith: I'm still angry about that cookie thing!
Harper: WHERE IS LAPTOP?!?! I'M ANGRY!!!!!
So, anyway. It's not exactly what the book suggested, but at least we had a fairly successful (albeit charged) family meeting, right?
(Yeah. I rescued Laptop from the garage before tucking Harper in. Instant happiness. However, still no cookie for Meredith.)
Submitted by
amy
at 1/14/2008 12:19:29 PM- I got that book about a year ago and I have really enjoyed the ideas- not really that I am doing the same things- but it makes me think about things to do///It makes me more creative...I like the family huddle on pg 95 and pg 62 threshold sheets- I did this for finn and am going to do it for Blaise this month as he turns one... It is cool!
Submitted by
You can call me, 'Sir'
at 1/14/2008 1:02:17 PM- When you mentioned the word 'ritual' I pictured you and Jeff watching the girls sacrifice a live goat to the god of sleep before crawling into bed. Good to see I was wrong.
On the other hand, you named a puppy 'Laptop' then threw it away? That's even worse than goat death.
Submitted by
Angela
at 1/14/2008 1:17:40 PM- That sounds like a start! Plus it is 100 times better than any family meeting I can remember. Instead of being check-ins they were "hey! let's all scream at each other and insert rules we will never use!"
Good luck with trying this out. It will be nightly?
Submitted by
Susan
at 1/14/2008 3:14:57 PM- I'm sorry what seemed like a very good exercise backed fired on you. Still couldn't help but snicker about it though.
Submitted by
All Adither
at 1/14/2008 10:34:02 PM- cookies and puppies...very crucial to a happy childhood.
Submitted by
planningqueen
at 1/14/2008 11:00:51 PM- I have to say I actually like our family meetings. Sometimes they are hard work because they are based on consensus decision making. However once we have reached a decision, everyone generally feels ok about it. We also try not just talk in the negative and make it about rules.
Submitted by
SarahO
at 1/15/2008 8:53:35 AM- Sounds like an attempt at family rituals at my house. Including fishing the stuffie out of the trash. So why is it much funnier at the Pudding home?
Submitted by
Heidi
at 1/15/2008 12:06:29 PM- Maybe you want to skip the angry part and go directly to the happy part? Just maybe.
Submitted by
Meg
at 1/15/2008 3:53:37 PM- oh my gosh laptop.
thank you. thank you, Angela.
Submitted by
Devil's Lunchbox
at 1/15/2008 4:07:52 PM- My mom made me throw away my stuffed dog when I was six. He was dirty and couldn't be cleaned. I'm 48 years old and have never forgiven her. You might want to keep that in mind.
Submitted by
Sara
at 1/16/2008 10:28:34 AM- I am SO GLAD you rescued Laptop. I still have the completely unwashable pig named Alfred which I was given for Chanukah when I was three. My mother eventually had to knit him a turtleneck sweater/bag to keep him from completely disintegrating, or at least to contain him when he did. I was in my late teens at the time. Now I'm approaching 45, my mother is long dead, but I still have the pig in his knit lavender acrylic bag, and I still need to hug him sometimes.
You did good. You heard concerns. You took actions that could be taken. Problem solving, right? That's a successful meeting!
Not bad for your first time out. :)
I'm calling PETA if you're going to keep throwing puppies in the trash.