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That was Bernie. He's really a character, I tell you.

Wow! Hey! It has been almost a week since I've done anything with Fluid Pudding!

Let's see. Do you want to hear about how Meredith has lost her voice and is home sick today begging me to send Harper away so that she and I can snuggle around on the couch?

Better yet: Do you want to hear about my mole invasion? And how it has absolutely nothing to do with insectivorous animals with velvety fur and tiny shifty eyes?

Eh, let's just go with this: I visited a headache clinic this morning! And I entered the building feeling like this Picasso painting, and I left feeling like this one!

You know I'm a menstrual migraineur, right? Bring on the trained dwarfs! For a jester's chief employment is to kill himself for your enjoyment, and a jester unemployed is nobody's fool!

I now have pills to help Day Three of The Fluid Pudding Cycle pass without incident.

Next issue? Chronic tension headaches. I've been controlling them by taking up to six Ibuprofen per day, which is a very bad idea. (I have many bad ideas. Someday we'll sit and drink coffee and talk about my bad ideas. And then we'll bid a tearful adieu to my Ibuprofen-poisoned liver!)

The first thing on the agenda? Figure out why I'm having these headaches.

Upon inspection, it was discovered that my right scapula sits about two inches below my left scapula, my neck jets out an awkward angle, and my shoulders are hunched all crazy-like.

According to my doctor, if I don't engage in some myofascial therapy fairly soon, I'll be spending my elderly years ambulating around like a breadcrumb diving bird in a sketch from Sesame Street.
 


Oh! When you've been taking a lot of Ibuprofen and then suddenly you're NOT taking a lot of Ibuprofen, you might suffer from withdrawal headaches for Up to Two Months.

Hold my hand as I put on my Petulant Pudding pants? Okay then!

Posted by: fluidpudding on 1/23/2008 4:59:13 PM , 17 comments
Submitted by Kathy at 1/23/2008 1:45:28 PM
    I've found plain ol' aspirin better for headaches than ibuprofen -- if you can tolerate the pit-of-the stomach burning.
Submitted by Alli at 1/23/2008 3:27:59 PM
    I refer to that look as vulture neck. I have two suggestions because I, too, suffer from headaches-a-many. 1) Drink a coke or pepsi to help relieve the withdrawal headaches - advice from a neurologist 2) lay on your back on your bed or couch with your head hanging off for 5 minutes a day every day - this one comes from my chiropractor - helps realign your cervical spine. Good luck - I feel your pain, literally.
Submitted by All Adither at 1/23/2008 3:51:58 PM
    I'm sorry about the headaches. Migraines are just the worst.

    You know what works even better than Ibuprofen (though I think that does a damn fine job with most things)? Gin.
Submitted by blackbird at 1/23/2008 4:24:03 PM
    MY GOD - this whole post reads like a vocab test.

    I have my kids shout OLD HAG at me to improve my posture. I'm sure your kids would oblige.
Submitted by Susan at 1/23/2008 4:34:38 PM
    Geez Louise woman - with a f'd up spine like that, no wonder you are having headaches! Get theeself to a chiro ASAP. That is if you don't consider them quacks. The ibuprofen withdrawals - I read something like that. I know you can get rebound headaches from taking too much stuff too soon. I hope you 2 steps closer to getting some much needed relief from those daily headaches.
Submitted by FP at 1/23/2008 4:35:50 PM
    Kathy--Bummer. I can't do aspirin, either. The doctor actually designed a pill for me. It's a chemical cocktail that goes straight to my head!

    Alli--I hope Dr. Pepper counts! AND, I'll start the head off of the bed thing tonight! Thanks.

    All Adither--Man, if gin didn't taste so much like a Christmas tree, I could do it. (I used to like my gin, but suddenly it tastes wrong to me.)

    Blackbird--I DID learn "insectivorous" specifically for this entry. I believe I'll make room for it in my head, which means I'll be eliminating either "inscrutable" or "inseminate".

    Susan--I saw a chiropractor a few years back, but he wasn't able to help me. I broke up with him when he made a semi-racist joke during one of our appointments. I think he was a bit too comfortable with me.
Submitted by yanik at 1/23/2008 4:48:32 PM
    Hi Angela,

    Just stumbled onto your blog and read about your migraine problem... I was a chronic migraine sufferer for years, saw all kinds of doctors and tried all kinds of things that never solved my problem. One day I went to a Naturopath and she asked me how much water I drank each day. I estimated I drank 2-3 glasses a day and I was stunned to learn that, based on my weight and height, I should have been drinking about 2 liters a day!

    I took her advice and my migraines stopped after the 3rd day. What a relief! There is a free hydration calculator here http://nutrition.about.com/library/blwatercalculator.htm
    You never know... it might help!

    Good luck!
Submitted by You can call me, 'Sir' at 1/23/2008 4:54:56 PM
    Wow. Being you sounds like 'Fun' with a capital 'Ouch'!
Submitted by Cara at 1/24/2008 6:47:44 AM
    You've heard most of my tricks for headaches from others, but if doc is talking myofascial then I can not recommend gentle stretching highly enough. (And I assume he's talking massage in that recommendation, too.) You might want to check out the book Yoga for Wimps and/or ask for a PT referral. Both helped me immensely, along with regular massage. (Fair warning: massage like this hurts like crazy, but you feel much better a day later.)
Submitted by angela at 1/24/2008 7:42:37 AM
    i suffer from horrible neck/should problems that always ends in a headache. i started receiving myofascials at the chiro's office and i cannot recommend them enough, even though they hurt so so badly. they have really made things managable for me, although, i still get flare ups every now and then. it's a shame that your chiro couldn't help you - i tried 3 different ppl before i finally found one that does help. good luck :-)
Submitted by monique at 1/24/2008 7:52:49 AM
    i've been in myofascial PT for a few months now... for jaw pain and ear pain - on the bright side i've had less headaches than normal. i never knew about the ibuprofen withdrawals... hmmm, could explain my 8 a day habit. there's a pole exercise for you posture that will fix you in 2 weeks... really. take a broomstick and rest the base of your head against the top of it while the other end is cradled in your buttcrack. (there's just no nice way to say it) stand up straight for 30 seconds then bend forward for 30 seconds... keeping yourself against the pole. i spent the first 30-something or so years of my life bent forward and never knew it.
    okay, enough rambling out of me... good luck with the headaches!
Submitted by Dancing Kami at 1/24/2008 9:26:37 AM
    I agree with the head off the bed thing. Also I got some stretch seets from my chiro and they seem to help as I have tension headaches and all my stress gets saved up in my nech and shoulders...I went to a Pain Management clinic. Got a 15 minute massage, then for a while I was getting this electric stimulating thing-a-ma-jobbies put on my sore spots for like 5 minutes, then an adjustment from the chiro. Ahhhh and it's covered by insurance! My hips are constantly out of alignment too...I have to be more aware of NOT crossing my legs, sitting on my leg or foot, hunching over... If nothing else, I prefer a Rum and Coke to relax my muscles and some Bio Freeze creme for my muscles.
Submitted by kris at 1/24/2008 5:20:30 PM
    I use to get tension headaches often and then I did biofeedback for TMJ and learned how to relax and control my facial/jaw/neck/hand muscles. This was 20 years ago and the only headaches I've gotten since are sinus headaches. I swear by biofeedback. Get to the root of the problem -- the muscles and the tension. Learn how to relax those muscles and you are golden. Check it out and see if it works for you. Good luck.
Submitted by Carroll at 1/24/2008 10:28:39 PM
    Aieeee! I have nothing whatsoever to add to the words of advice you're receiving, Angela, but am sending compassionate thoughts galore in your direction. Does not sound like fun stuff to deal with, nossir :-(
Submitted by Mental Pause Mama at 1/25/2008 5:08:56 PM
    Good luck! Take it slowly, though, and get lots of sitters lined up!
Submitted by Mizmell at 1/26/2008 5:39:32 AM
    My daughter has informed me that dehydration is one of the leading causes of headaches. She suggests I immediately drink water before reaching for any type of pain reliever. Do you think that's why the pills are taken with water, maybe?
Submitted by Velma at 1/26/2008 11:47:47 PM
    Me? I'm a big fan of the "Guilting-The-Husband" method of cranio-sacral relief. I.E., you make him give you massages until he damn well does it right!
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