Cracklin' Rose, you're a store bought woman. You make me sing like a guitar hummin'!
Tonight, because I'm always trying to emulate Britney Spears, I'll be checking into a hospital for an hour long stay!
(Unlike Ms. Spears, the only 5150 involved will be the possibility of Van Halen shuffling on my iPod.)
((I don't have any Van Halen on my iPod. That was a joke. BUT, I do smile a bit at the thought of driving down Ballas to the tune of Running with the Devil. Also, Jamie's Crying would be a pleasant coincidence due to the Spears Family connotation.))
At approximately 6:30 this evening, I will be strapped to a board and fed into a CT scanning device. I know. Blah, blah, blah, headaches.
Oh! Remind me to tell you about this morning's myofascial therapy! I've never before had a woman put both of her hands into my mouth while I pretzel my arms and move my knees from side to side!
(I tend to slightly exaggerate as I split my infinitives.)
Side story: You may or may not remember that shortly after Harper Rose was born, I would sleep with my forehead against hers. As we rested with joined heads, I would try to recall Neil Diamond lyrics. It is my belief that if Harper grows up and digs Neil Diamond, it is because one of my Cracklin' Rosie synapses fired between her open fontanels! (And you can skip right over all of the stuff I've linked. BUT if you really want to be my friend, don't ignore the Cracklin' Rosie!)
Anyway, with that said, I'm planning to concentrate on my devotion to Jeff during the CT scan tonight. THEN, I'm going to ask for a copy of the film. THEN I'm going to frame the copy for Jeff's office.
I think I know Jeff enough to know that he does not ever want to receive a crappy boudoir shot of his squishy wife.
What he WANTS is to see what her brain actually looks like when she's thinking about him.
THAT is love.
And THAT, my friends, is the perfect Valentine's Day gift.
Submitted by
Marcia
at 1/31/2008 11:17:33 AM- That is seriously the most romantic Valentine's Day gift ever. Can i manage to get a CT scan in the next two weeks and do the same thing? I'm such a copy cat.
Submitted by
amy
at 1/31/2008 11:25:04 AM- you know gal
yr worth the wait between posts
like fer real xo
fingers crossed for you
Submitted by
Meg T.
at 1/31/2008 11:35:58 AM- you WOULD have had Van Halen on your IPod....but I never got around to buying any from ITunes.
And thanks for getting music stuck in my head
Submitted by
Leslie
at 1/31/2008 11:38:20 AM- I think I'm in love with you. Cracklin' Rosie? I used to be ashamed that it's the 12th most played song on my iPod. (It's one of my sock monkey making grooves.) But this post has changed everything!
Good luck tonight. I hope your brain checks out okay.
Submitted by
haus
at 1/31/2008 11:56:59 AM- Thanks for the flashback to my childhood, with mom's LPs stacked on the record player playing through Neil Diamond, Chuck Mangione, Captain and Tenille, Helen Reddy...
I had a good friend in high school who drove a Datsun 280Z and had the custom license plate "5150" in honor of his favorite band - also, to worry the cops.
Good luck with the CT scan, hope it helps diagnose and fix things.
Submitted by
Laural
at 1/31/2008 12:14:04 PM- I love Neil Diamond! My mom played his tapes over and over again, and now whenever I hear one of his songs I get all mushy inside.
And I swear he had a song called Porcupine Pie, but no one believes me.
Submitted by
Melizzard
at 1/31/2008 12:49:04 PM- Thanks for the awesome chair dance. I needed that today.
BTW, you'll need to mount that CT in something transparent to get the best view... I have my Lizard Brains in dangling up in my window like a sun catcher for the best effect.
Submitted by
FP
at 1/31/2008 1:40:12 PM- Blackbird--It's either the CT scan or a cow's heart wrapped in a box with a card that says "I'm over the Mooooon for you!"
Marcia--Sadly, you'll need either a blow to the head or a chronic headache. I'd wish you good luck, but, well, you know...
Meg--I've got a Van Halen CD around here somewhere. I should really load it on!
Leslie and Laural--Neil Diamond Fans UNITE! (I'm currently giving you my best Forever in Blue Jeans secret wave.)
Amy, Haus, Sara, and KD--Thanks so much!
Melizzard--Thanks for the idea! I wish I had the time to somehow transfer it onto a suncatcher! I'll have to think about this...
Submitted by
Mrs. Kennedy
at 1/31/2008 2:06:37 PM- Good luck tonight. I'll machine wash and dry my socks in your honor.
Submitted by
Susan
at 1/31/2008 3:02:28 PM- I hope the CT scan goes well and you get good news. Thanks for the Neil Diamond rewind. I grew up listening to him with my folks and still tap my toe when I hear him. Maybe we Neil Diamond fans can form a tribute band to the likes of Darren, J.D. and Wayne from Saving Silverman.
Submitted by
You can call me, 'Sir'
at 1/31/2008 3:13:05 PM- That's a lot of Van Halen for a single post. And as you think of Jeff while being bombarded with cats, the synapses in your noggin will no doubt light up into the shape of a toe that is now a thumb. The romance...it is epic.
Submitted by
SarahO
at 1/31/2008 3:51:26 PM- You gotta love 21st Century romantic CT photos.
You make me sing like a CT hummin'.
Submitted by
allison
at 1/31/2008 4:43:54 PM- It's not a joke; it's a travesty that you have NO Van Halen on that ipod!
1984 is a killer album!
Submitted by
Just Beachy
at 1/31/2008 6:38:07 PM- Van Who? Haaa. Just Kiddin! You are seriously funny. Hope all goes well for you tonight and they find some answers.
Submitted by
Velma
at 1/31/2008 9:13:02 PM- God, I think I'm gonna need a copy of that there brain pitcher, 'cause I love the way your mind works.
Submitted by
brokemom
at 1/31/2008 10:25:16 PM- Darn it, I am so jealous. That IS a great gift.
Submitted by
Aimee Greeblemonkey
at 1/31/2008 11:31:02 PM- My Cracklin' Rosie story is that a coworker at the record store I worked in in high school kept playing the LP (yes *LP*) for me, trying to convince I would REALLY like Neil Diamond. I was listening to mainly the Smiths at the time.
And my hubby had a CT scan this week too. Medical procedures all 'round!
I hope yours goes well.
Submitted by
Carole
at 2/1/2008 1:02:37 AM- Hey, wouldn't it be really funny if your CT revealed that YOU were ACTUALLY a buckethead?!
This all reminds me of a very different time long long ago when instead of CT scans of your brain for Valentine's Day...we were playing pseudo-stalkers and doing late night drive bys...wonder what a scan of your brain back then would look like in comparison?
Submitted by
Alli
at 2/1/2008 8:14:06 AM- When will you have the results? You could foto-fiddle the cat scan for an even better office pic!
Submitted by
sarah
at 2/1/2008 11:03:19 AM- I hope it all went well.
Best valentine's day gift EVER.
I love me some Uncle Neil.
Submitted by
Sara
at 2/1/2008 12:38:44 PM- Hey, I used to work for neurologists, and, if I'm remembering what we did correctly (I am not a doctor and this was some time ago), we used to take PET scans of people's heads while they were having seizures so we could find out where in their brains the seizures were happening. So I'm thinking you could get a scan like that only instead of having a seizure you could be thinking about Jeff. Problem is, it would cost thousands of dollars (like diamond jewelry!), and in spite of the hospital setting, I don't think your health insurance covers Valentines.
Oh, well, I'll bet you can think of something else to get him instead. Meanwhile, I hope they can see in one glance what is causing your headaches, that it's nothing horrible or terrifying, and that they can fix it easily in some not especially taxing or complicated way.
Submitted by
Sara
at 2/1/2008 12:42:56 PM- Okay, since I am a buckethead and am actually reading/typing with a headache at this very moment, I missed the part where you said you were going to just get a copy of the CT scan. I've done that with MRIs for various nefarious artistic purposes. They cost about $25 a page ten years ago (and no, insurance wouldn't cover it.
Good present. :)
Submitted by
Sharon
at 2/3/2008 7:55:22 PM- Now I have TWO earworms. I did a solo! jazz! dance! to "Cracklin' Rosie" back when I was 13 and let me tell you, I ain't got rhythm now and I didn't then. AND- I spent more money than I've ever spent on a concert last week to see Van Halen in San Antonio-- and let me tell you, it was worth every cent. Runnin' with the Devil, indeed. I'm livin' my life like there's no tomorrow.
DAMNITTOHELL.
You've outdone me again.
BTW, thanks for the earworm.