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Fluid Pudding Week at a Glance

Today:
Figure out how to administer Philosophy's Supernatural the correct way. It's sort of astounding how much I suck at the whole cosmetic thing. With that said, for some unknown reason, I really want this one to work for me. So far, I haven't managed to apply it without appearing ghostlike. The look I'm going for is "Glowing at Nearly 38." If you saw me right now, you would whisper "Whey-faced."

Friday:
Burn Meredith Mix CDs for the kids who will be attending MC's birthday party this weekend. (You really have no idea what Music is until you've heard Alvin and the Chipmunks singing Good Girls Don't by The Knack. And if you could hear Meredith singing along? Well, you wouldn't know whether to smile, weep, or blend the two into a Tornadic Cocktail of Emotion. Because "good girls don't, but I do." Yikes.)

Saturday:
Meredith's Birthday Party! 15 kids jumping on huge inflatable things! Cake! Presents! Mommy socializing with other parents and trying So Hard to not come across as a dumbass! (Note to Jeff: If I start yammering about drinking my own breastmilk, please step in. You're my only hope.)

Sunday:
Harper's Birthday Party! Maybe! But everyone seems to have other plans, and no one can commit to a time! So I'm planning on perching my ass (with a grimace, a slice of pizza, and a Diet Dr. Pepper) on the front stoop from ten in the morning until I lose patience. And when I lose patience, I might get a little crazy and string Christmas lights around our No Solicitors sign. And maybe I'll prick my finger and write "This Means Everybody" in blood under the tiny picture of the man with the briefcase who is representing solicitors of all kind. You know what? We really don't need big gifts or hoopla. All we want is a small gathering of family who is willing to gather.

Monday:
Harper's Actual Birthday! 3! And Jeff is taking the day off, and we will perhaps go swimming at the Y. And, do you want to know a secret? Love = Putting on a swimsuit when the last thing you want to do is put on a swimsuit.

Tuesday:
Meredith's Actual Birthday! 5! And I'll probably take the girls out for a doughnut or out for lunch or out for something similarly crazy to celebrate the fact that I gained 80 stinking pounds during my pregnancy with her, and now she knows all of the words to Tom Petty's "Refugee."

I hope I'm not forgetting anything.

Posted by: fluidpudding on 4/24/2008 11:40:26 AM , 29 comments
Submitted by Pete Dunn at 4/24/2008 11:38:05 AM
    Living the dream.
Submitted by mp at 4/24/2008 12:54:32 PM
    The drinking your own breastmilk story MAY only work when cocktails are involved..so if you are spiking the punch then go for it!
Submitted by mp at 4/24/2008 12:55:37 PM
    ps..don't tell anybody but I have that Alvin and the Chipmunk CD on my iPod..
Submitted by FP at 4/24/2008 1:02:18 PM
    Pete Dunn--My world is filled to the brim with beautiful green eyed monsters.

    mp--You're right. My inner divulgence monster can't wait until the glass is half empty. I should be safe with lemonade. AND, your Chipmunk secret is safe with me.
Submitted by Heather at 4/24/2008 1:30:27 PM
    My boys are two years and three days apart. We are still getting away with having one big, bad, blow out of a party for both of them, but don't think that will last much longer. And your breastmilk story was the highlight of the night.
Submitted by Jaynee at 4/24/2008 1:45:03 PM
    At least you are being a good mom by ATTEMPTING to let your kids have birthday parties. Today is CootieGirl's 5th birthday and not only is she NOT getting a party but I won't even be home for it! Huzzah!
Submitted by Alli at 4/24/2008 2:54:10 PM
    Happy b-days girls!
Submitted by You can call me, 'Sir' at 4/24/2008 4:48:41 PM
    In the 60s, The Chipmunks came out with an album of them singing Beatles hits. I understand that it made all the girl chipmunks throw their panties on the stage during the show. Hell, I didn't even know chipmunks wore skivvies.

    Anyhow, the moral here is that you have to be careful about The Chipmunks. They're the most morally bankrupt group of singing rodents out there.
Submitted by Sara at 4/24/2008 4:55:24 PM
    Have fun! Don't go crazy!
Submitted by whiticism at 4/24/2008 5:41:21 PM
    the supernatural is my absolute favorite makeup find of ALL TIME. i think when you first start using it, though, you have to make sure not to bounce it around so much that a bunch of powder is in the spongy thing, and then you just apply it lightly. it's a thing of wonder that you will grow to love, trust me...even though you don't know me...yeah.
Submitted by alex in oc (you don't know me! but i think you're neato!) at 4/24/2008 6:59:21 PM
    Oh yes, I own Chipmunk Punk on vinyl, and their rendition of Blondie's "Call me" gives me strong laugh/cry feelings every time.

    Sigh. Miss Baby just gave me a big grin and ripped the side of her diaper open. Must. Be. Responsible. Mommy. Now.
Submitted by Karen T-H at 4/24/2008 10:57:25 PM
    Happy, happy birthday BAAY-beez!
    I got you on my MIII-IND!!!

    Your little southern Illinois counterparts are on their way to Chattanooga for a "Thomas Weekend," and visit to the aquarium. Yippeee! TWO kiddie parties avoided this year!

    Have a chocolate birthday weekend!
Submitted by Badger at 4/25/2008 7:01:22 AM
    Happy birthday to the birthday grrlz! I hope to God Alvin & Co. changed the lyrics to that song. I followed the link but my brain doesn't register that particular octave, so I couldn't tell.
Submitted by joaaanna at 4/25/2008 8:40:21 AM
    I own Urban Chipmunk. Complete with, "Momma's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Chipmunks".

    Happy Birthday Little Pudding's!
Submitted by Effie at 4/25/2008 11:22:28 AM
    Hey Angela--just a question--how did you end up weaning Harper and/or MC??? I'm 6 mos pregnant and still trying to wean my little monkey from nursing, Katrina, (she's 15 mos now) and could use ANY ideas possible...I DEFINITELY don't want to Tandem nurse but that's what all the breastfeeding sites suggest..

    Happy Birthday Harper!!
    Happy Birthday Meredith!!
    Have a great weekend!
Submitted by FP at 4/25/2008 11:40:30 AM
    Effie--Meredith simply quit at 15 months. We weaned Harper at 28 months by putting her on a nursing schedule (we nursed "on demand" before then). We started nursing once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once at night. After a week or so, I started distracting her around the afternoon time until she no longer asked for it. Morning was the next to go. After about a month, she gave up the nighttime feeding. Done! (At 29 months, she was actually able to have a conversation with me about it, so I knew she understood what was happening.) Good luck! It's really tough--and I can't imagine tandem nursing. For me, at least.
Submitted by Effie at 4/25/2008 1:26:04 PM
    Thanks--I've managed to stop a few of her regular feedings (going back to work helped with that) but stopping the evening, night and morning feedings is going slowly!! As far as understanding, I don't think she understands why she pats my tummy and says hi to it yet--she has been known to pat her own tummy too...very cute!
Submitted by jen at 4/25/2008 1:57:25 PM
    Hey, I got a $50 gift certificate to Sephora. What should I get??? I am a virgin.
Submitted by FP at 4/25/2008 2:04:34 PM
    Jen--I would walk in, find the most fabulous employee in sight, and ask him/her that same question. (Me? I would head straight to the Stila tinted moisturizer. But I'm tame.)
Submitted by Rae at 4/25/2008 5:46:22 PM
    I don't know, but I really consider stories about drinking your own breastmilk to be the height of social interaction. Next only to birth stories and traveling bathroom accidents.

Submitted by Mocha at 4/25/2008 7:59:49 PM
    I know you have the capabilities to do this, so please tape Meredith singing that and post it. That would be Delicious Goodness.

    (I'm enjoying a Lindeman's right now. My local Friar Tuck's store carries them! Cold, too! YUUUUMM. Drinking and thinking of you!)
Submitted by FP at 4/25/2008 8:18:34 PM
    Rae--It will take a LOT of alcohol for me to tell my traveling bathroom accident story. It's a winner.

    Mocha--If Meredith is up to the challenge, I'll record it ASAP. AND, you should pour some of that Lindeman's over French vanilla ice cream. What a perfect float that would be!
Submitted by alex in oc at 4/25/2008 10:41:00 PM
    I dated this guy for about 5 minutes once who was peeing in a bottle while he was driving, and then a song by a Really Cute Girl came on the radio and he got, err, stuck. And then a cop pulled him over, I think for speeding.

    Does that count as a traveling bathroom accident story?
Submitted by FP at 4/26/2008 8:12:34 AM
    Alex--Hands down. You win. EXCEPT--I once knew a girl who peed in a cup and then threw the pee out the window while her boyfriend was driving. It splattered on the windshield of the police car behind them. Luckily, she's really cute, and the police officer was into the cuteness. No ticket.
Submitted by pharmgirl at 4/26/2008 1:33:24 PM
    Rock on Pudding Pop!

    I love me some Tom Petty...
Submitted by Shamelessly Sassy at 4/26/2008 3:55:58 PM
    "Love = Putting on a swimsuit when the last thing you want to do is put on a swimsuit."--that is so true.
Submitted by MariaC at 4/27/2008 4:36:50 AM
    So right you should be quoted in books. Can I also do it sometimes? ..."Love = Putting on a swimsuit when the last thing you want to do is put on a swimsuit."
    I read you every chance I find. Best! MariaC.
Submitted by Mizmell at 4/27/2008 7:54:36 AM
    Happy, happy. Joy, joy.
    When my girls were that age, I made iced cupcakes for the party, each with a big "5" written in white icing.
Submitted by Summer at 4/28/2008 8:08:59 AM
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