Fluid Pudding

Talc Radio at its Finest.

Last night Jeff and I packed the kids up and shipped them thirty miles south so that we could attend This American Life Live, which was being shown at two local theaters—both within 15 miles of our house. (Incidentally, I have now (essentially) been in the same room with Ira Glass twice in the past eight weeks, with plans to see him again in September. At this rate, I will have spent more time with him than I spend with most of my relatives. And I'm okay with that.)

Anyway, we arrived at the theater, paid for our tickets, grabbed a coffee (non-fat sugar-free almond latte, if you're curious), and found The Best Seats in the House. What made our seats The Best Seats? The fact that we had bars in front of us (perfect for the resting of the feet), and two seats down from me was a man whose resemblance to Santa Claus was completely uncanny. (By the way, I don't believe the opposite of uncanny is canny. Are there any other words whose un- partner does not form the opposite?! The world is a crazy place.)

We got comfy, I knitted on a sock because I'm one of Those People who can't really sit still unless I have something to do, and we watched the crowd roll in.

Fluid Pudding Fun Fact: When technology is involved, I am a huge Doubter. When I first learned that this show was happening, I really didn't believe my local mall theater would be able to pick up on the broadcast and put it up on the screen with no problems. I hate that my glass is half-empty in these situations, but there you go.

And I was right. When the show started, the live coverage was shot up to the screen, but there was no sound. And I was pissed. And everyone in the theater was pissed. And the thing I found to be sort of funny was the fact that the audience was comprised of fifty or so NPR fans. These folks don't really strike me as the ass-kicking type. But, like me, they ARE quite passive-aggressive. So, although no punches were thrown, many idle threats were made. Threats like, "If they don't get it rolling soon, I'm going to politely ask for My MONEY BACK!"

(By the way, I once again became annoyed when the audio started working. Instead of shutting up and watching the show, the audience erupted into a loud cheer that made me miss the first fifteen seconds of sound. But anyway.)

((I'll never be happy. You know this, right? Hold my hand.))

The show itself was wonderful, yet hard to describe. We saw an amazing animated short illustrated by Chris Ware—the guy who does the Jimmy Corrigan books. We saw a raw cardboard-animated video of a pornographic story written by a twelve year old. (It sounds a lot racier than it was. The dirtiest line, which was also the best line, was "I Frenched him. Completely." I'm going to incorporate that into my frequent sayings, by the way.)

We saw clips that were deleted from the This American Life television show, we saw clips from the upcoming season, we met David Rakoff, there was a Q&A session... Wait. What is that noise? More importantly, what is that SMELL?!

Oh! It's Santa Claus! And he has fallen asleep! And he is snoring SO loudly. And I suppose, since I am sitting the closest to him, that it is My job to wake him. But I can't get myself to do it, because every time he exhales, it smells like baby powder. (And I wasn't even sitting THAT closely to him. But seriously! Every time the guy exhaled, the theater smelled more and more like a gigantic fresh-out-of-the-big-boy-tub baby.)

Santa did the open mouth sounds-like-a-bear snoring for the final thirty minutes of the show, and by the time we left the theater, my diaper rash was gone.

Posted by: fluidpudding on 5/2/2008 7:21:48 PM , 17 comments

Submitted by Meghan at 5/2/2008 9:06:58 AM

http://xkcd.com/418/

Submitted by monkey at 5/2/2008 9:12:01 AM

Went went to the show last night too- we had to drive 1.5 hours to get there- it was good, but I am not sure it was $40 good. We had no technical problems in our Wisconsin theater.

Submitted by Kathy at 5/2/2008 9:18:11 AM

We saw an amazing animated short illustrated by Chris Ware—the guy who does the Jimmy Corrigan books.

Submitted by Summer at 5/2/2008 9:33:51 AM

Submitted by dee at 5/2/2008 10:18:59 AM

Submitted by Mary at 5/2/2008 10:28:23 AM

That happened at the theater I was at too! (The lack of sound part not the Santa Claus part). Someone went up to the projection booth and tapped very agressively on the window. Ira Glass is so dreamy.

Submitted by Raquita Henderson at 5/2/2008 10:56:46 AM

Submitted by Sugared Harpy at 5/2/2008 3:35:13 PM

Submitted by Em at 5/2/2008 4:28:11 PM

My brain says that the opposite of unwieldy cannot, no, simply cannot be 'wieldy' - who says that? - but merriam-webster.com says I am wrong, wrong, wrong!

Submitted by Surcie at 5/2/2008 6:53:39 PM

You always make me glad I visited. (How do you do that, anyway?)

Submitted by Snippety Gibbet at 5/2/2008 7:34:11 PM

Submitted by Jane at 5/2/2008 7:40:26 PM

While the opposite of uncouth might be "couth," and the opposite of unkempt might be "kempt," nobody actually uses those with any frequency. I've taken it upon myself to rectify this.

Submitted by jen at 5/2/2008 9:11:53 PM

Submitted by suse at 5/4/2008 7:02:40 PM

There is a song somewhere, by a band somewhere, sung almost entirely using words like kempt and couth and canny. It's hilarious and I should try and find it for you but no doubt the minute I type buckethead I'll forget.

Submitted by All Adither at 5/5/2008 10:57:57 AM

That's a pretty elaborate way of eliminating diaper rash.

Submitted by Robin at 5/5/2008 11:04:38 PM

Last week I bought some Burt's Bees honey lip balm and it smelled so much like baby powder that I had to wipe it off. Perhaps Santa is really Burt (the do look like) and the smell was his hot, sleepy breathe releasing that talcy lip balm goodness.

Submitted by Jen K at 5/6/2008 7:43:34 AM