Tonight we'll reach for the stars. We'll rent expensive cars.
Tonight I will be getting another haircut. No further details are available at this time.
Tomorrow? A day of mental preparation. Also, chicken enchilada preparation! Delish!
Thursday? Tempe and I will be drinking martinis until we feel the uncontrollable urge to try on discounted prom dresses.
I normally stand firm on my belief that malls should not contain bars.
However, for this plan to fly, a mall bar is completely necessary.
Specifically, a mall bar that plants a freaking Hostess Ding Dong on the side of their chocolate martini glass.
It has been twenty one years since I was semi stood up for my junior prom. (Did I ever tell you that story?)
AND, instead of going to my senior prom, I went to a Cardinal baseball game. And I don't even LIKE baseball!
Wait. Let's go ahead and get this out of the way.
You: You don't like BASEBALL?!
Me: No!
You: What is WRONG with you?!
Me: I don't know!
You: You are obviously not an American.
Me: 'Cause the players tried to take the field; the marching band refused to yield. Do you recall what was revealed the day the music died?
You: Okay then.
Anyway, this is the time of year when I often feel the urge to put my hair up and squeeze into something floofy.
So, yes, kids. You WILL regret not going to your prom.
(No you won't. Believe me. You won't. Wait. Why am I crying?)
If I can get the proper release forms signed, I will be taking photos at this event.
AND, if the martinis are particularly effective, I will be pinning a corsage through my bare skin just to prove that I'm hardened when it comes to high school disappointment.
Cheers.
Submitted by
Susan
at 5/6/2008 9:57:03 AM- That bar sounds like my kind of place. Ding-dongs! Yum! I don't like baseball either and I didn't go to ANY of my proms. I can't say that I regret it but I'm looking forward to the day when my girl goes to her first. I have a while for that though.
Submitted by
mp
at 5/6/2008 11:28:59 AM- DING DONG martinis..hello, please share this location!!
No Cardinal Baseball..you may be American but you aint no St Louisian.. (was that hoosier enough for you?)
Submitted by
Gail
at 5/6/2008 11:29:01 AM- My sons prom was a couple of weeks ago and he refused to go. I didn't push it because I don't think boys have the same feelings about it as girls do. Both of my girls went and I think they're glad they did. Me?...I went to 3 junior proms and 2 senior balls and loved every one of them.
Submitted by
FP
at 5/6/2008 11:38:45 AM- Susan, TheQueen, and mp--Houlihan's. I know!
And, here is pictorial proof—stolen from the Houlihan's website!
Submitted by
Deanna
at 5/6/2008 12:20:31 PM- Indeed. I regret not only not going to the prom, but having never been invited. I also regret choking at the region track meet my senior year and not qualifying for state. You think at the time that you won't feel bad about those things forever. But you do.
Submitted by
Jaynee
at 5/6/2008 12:35:54 PM- I'm not a fan of the baseball either. My husband took me to a Mets game soon after we got married and he was horrified when I brought out a book and read through the entire game.
Submitted by
Anne
at 5/6/2008 1:14:01 PM- May I rephrase the conversation above for your international readers please?
You: You don't like BASEBALL?!
Me: No!
You: Finally a sane American. That is such an odd and complex game. What is WRONG with Americans?! Also, can Obama fix it?
Me: I don't know!
You: You are obviously not an American.
Me: 'Cause the players tried to take the field; the marching band refused to yield. Do you recall what was revealed the day the music died?
You: Or then again, maybe you are.
Submitted by
FP
at 5/6/2008 1:36:05 PM- Anne--That is one of the funniest comments I've ever received.
May I make one quick edit?
You: You don't like BASEBALL?!
Me: No!
You: Finally a sane American. That is such an odd and complex game. What is WRONG with Americans?! Also, can Obama fix it?
Me: I don't know!
You: You are obviously not an American.
Me: I mean, yes! He can! Yes We Can!
You: Or then again, maybe you are.
Submitted by
Mizmell
at 5/6/2008 1:39:29 PM- I never went to the first prom. But I was dating the man I am now married to, a hundred years later.
I was having too much fun to be bothered---or so I thought.
But I've had two weddings, so maybe that balances it out, ya think?
Submitted by
Surcie
at 5/6/2008 2:03:50 PM- I still call 'em King Dons. I could eat my weight in those right now!
Submitted by
Alli
at 5/6/2008 3:52:52 PM- Are you talking about going to your reunion?
Submitted by
FP
at 5/6/2008 4:07:53 PM- Alli--My 20th reunion should be coming up any day now, but I don't believe it has been organized. Then again, I'm no longer in touch with anyone from my graduating class, and I'm not really willing to sign up at classmates dot com.
Submitted by
Heather
at 5/6/2008 4:12:21 PM- I did not attend prom. I know every word to American Pie. I can drink chocolate martinis like milk.
Submitted by
Jerri Ann
at 5/6/2008 9:54:38 PM- "'Cause the players tried to take the field; the marching band refused to yield. Do you recall what was revealed the day the music died?"
I love this song. My husband hates all the "old" stuff. He thinks he is young again, bah.
However, I went to proms that my dad was in charge of organizing when I was in the 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th grades. We had no junior prom and I did not want to go to my senior prom and he almost flipped out. He insisted I go. It wasn't proper then to go without a date and so I wasn't going to go. Then, he and one of his teacher friends bullied the principal's son into asking me about 4 days before the prom if I would go with him.
I went. It was the most horrible experience ever. Don't do it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note...
"'Cause the players tried to take the field; the marching band refused to yield. Do you recall what was revealed the day the music died?"
Makes me think about this school we played in high school that was all African American. We were all non-rhythm white folks. We absolutely LOVED it when we played this team because their band was the best in the area. I remember watching the football teams practically shove them off the field. Then, these teams would load up and leave before the third quarter ever got started good. So for real, the players tried to take the field and the music just plain died. BAH!
Submitted by
Courtney Watson
at 5/8/2008 10:46:48 AM- I only like going to the games- but then I hate paying $27 for a beer.
Pft!
I have some hideous dresses you can borrow for prom. That seemed to be my shopping specialty in high school- ooogly dresses.
Submitted by
Meg
at 5/8/2008 5:37:53 PM- FOW title. Awesome.
Also last title: Talc. Awesome.
That's all.
Submitted by
moosh in indy.
at 5/9/2008 7:41:57 PM- Could I just get a glass full of Ding Dongs please? But more like a stein instead of a martini style?
Submitted by
moosh in indy.
at 5/9/2008 7:44:17 PM- And sorry for the duplicate comment but HOLY MY LANDS the Baseball/Obama rework of your quote is quite possibly the funniest comment I've ever EVER read.
Submitted by
jes
at 5/13/2008 1:50:02 AM- i was knocked up when i went to my first prom. of course, i was 31 and married to a teacher, attending as a chaperon, but it did ease a little of my missing prom regret. i now have a cheesy photo of me at prom, and that's the real reward, right?
I'm as big a fan of Ding-Dongs as anyone else (my innuendo meter is pegged right now), but never once have I thought of the creme filling as 'majestic' (the meter just broke).