You can eat it with your fingers, and it leaves no residue.

My grandmother used to have a very annoying habit of saying things like, “Oh! If only you knew what I know about Blashenblash! But I can’t tell you. I promised not to tell ANYONE! But you would DIE if you knew!” On a similar note, I can’t help but become annoyed when people shout out something like, “I have a Major Announcement to make, but you will have to wait until next week to hear it.”

If you can’t tell me something, don’t tell me how you can’t tell me something. Seriously. You’re wasting words. And words are not meant to be wasted.

And now I am guilty: I received some Big Happy News yesterday, and I spent a good part of today reading legal documents and signing away some rights. And I’m not allowed to tell you any specifics. But I CAN tell you this: If it is determined that I meet all eligibility requirements, I will be accepting a major prize valued at $1,000. And this prize has absolutely nothing to do with a Wii Fit and everything to do with me spending 30 minutes in my yard taking photographs of food and then freaking out in church about the fact that a peace sign and a Mercedes logo look oddly similar and then rushing home to redo the photo shoot in order to eliminate any potential shout-out to the kind folks at Mercedes, and that’s about all I can say.

I suppose the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it, Grandma?

I will say this, with the slight fear of releasing a rattlesnake: A picture is worth a thousand words. And when my prize arrives (if it is determined that I meet all eligibility requirements), I will post a picture.

And now I shall change the subject somewhat drastically. A few days back, Mercy Buttercup, using a popular social media program, announced that she had found The Most Comfortable Nightgown Ever. I took her recommendation to heart (because we own the same Wiggles guitar), and as I type this entry I am wearing The Most Comfortable Nightgown Ever. And now I shall showcase it for you, using my signature America’s Next Top Model pose.


A huge thank you to Mercy Buttercup. Because I’m never taking this thing off. In fact, Jeff just gave me the go-ahead to wear it to Thanksgiving dinner next week. Aces.

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18 thoughts on “You can eat it with your fingers, and it leaves no residue.”

  1. If I ever find an adult-sized onesie with a two-button flap in the back for convenient and necessary pooping, I will purchase said onsie and upon its arrival never again wear anything else.


  2. Your impending news is going to be driving me crazy for the next (however long it takes)!

    Nice Jammies. And, nice pose. You should have won Top Model! Next season, perhaps. But then you’ll have to keep THAT a secret and we’ll all be all “What is this big news she has for us?” and… well. You can see where that will go.

    (wow. rambling. sorry)

  3. Pretty nightie.
    my 8 year old was given a wrist band with the peace symbol on it last week . When he showed it to me he said that he liked it but wasn’t sure what car the symbol was from.

  4. I typically own the annual Gilligan & O’Malley Fall Line — nice stuff, not too heavy and still warm, mostly green…

    To “You Can Call Me, ‘Sir'” — I Know! I got those jammies for a new mom friend at a maternity store. Sure, good for winter potty time, but I failed to notice the lack of button flaps in strategic breast-feeding positions…

  5. I really hate to be the one to break this to you but if the prize is coming from Nigeria, it probably won’t come. So sorry to spoil the party. Those Nigerian princes are a crafty bunch.

    On the bright side, that looks like a pretty comfy nightie with a very nice price for adding to Christmas presents to make them more gifty. I am nothing if not competitive to be the giftiest. With this sweet sleepwear, I shall triumph!

  6. You have always been a big WINNER to me, although I am currently lacking in prizes valued at $1000 to give you.


  7. In college a group of friends and I were making posters for a local anti-war protest in D.C. and all I’m gonna say is one of us ended up tramping around all day with a giant Mercedes advertisement.

    P.S. I love Horse Feathers. In fact, my friend and I like them so much that we decided to integrate “horse feathers” into our vocabulary with the same definition of “poppycock.” Just try it, it’s awesome. Throw your arms up, and yell, “Oh horse feathers!” next time your frustrated. We of course decided this on a road trip in which we listened to them for hours on end. It totally made sense at the time.

  8. I was so excited about finding someone else who appreciated Horse Feathers that I totally mis-spelled “you’re.” How embarrassing.

    It wasn’t me with the Mercedes sign, I swear.

  9. Heh…nightgown at Thanksgiving dinner…


    for the last 5 years, my m.i.l. has worn a Christmas nightgown to the Christmas festivities over tights. And that is all I can say about THAT.

    BTW – looking quite svelte, FP! Rock on!

  10. Oooh…I’m excited about whatever it is I’m not supposed to know about yet.

    Also, I fear that I will never be able to try said pj’s for I don’t know that I will want to remove myself from them when it is time to go to work. I can’t help but wonder if there is a way I can wear pj’s to the office. With a belt and leggings? Under a blazer with tights? Oh, wait…pharmgirl just warned us about that. Ah well, it was a nice thought…

  11. How is it that you’re doing Weight Watcher’s? I know, “Whuuu? This psycho’s not reading the post and just verbal vomiting a comment.” No, I see you there in The Most Comfortable Nightgown Ever and you look amazing. Who the hell looks hot and has a figure in a nightgown?? It’s comfortable and fits you well. You should be getting commission from the nightgown peeps.

    And, tell Weight Watchers to go screw themselves. You look amazing.

  12. Oh, my. You just said “aces”. I say aces, and everyone looks at me funny and laughs, but that might have something to do with my double thumbs up thing that accompanies it. But still, aces!

    I am not alone.

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