There’s one (or more) in every crowd.

A few days back, we took the puppy to her first session of obedience school.

We were instructed to bring three things to class: immunization records, a leash, and treats.

One puppy owner didn’t bring any of those items.

That particular owner (Shall we call her Eileen? Let’s do!) sat on a stool and watched her dog run up and hump every other dog in the class. As the rest of us were scrambling a bit to get the humper away from our dogs, Eileen simply laughed and yelled, “She’s been doing that to my Rottweiler all week!”

Note: Scout is not yet spayed. Her siblings are scheduled for their surgery on Friday, and her surgery will most likely take place in the next two weeks. Please know that we cannot officially adopt her until she has been fixed. Back to the story.

As our instructor talked to the class about basic disciplinary tools and how to use treats as incentives, Eileen approached me and said, “My grandkids are nine and they’re unschooled, and they’re reading a series of books that I can’t remember the name of, but they’re really great readers, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, et cetera!”

What I wanted to say: Unschooled like your dog? The dog who is unleashed because you cannot follow instructions and is trying to get my puppy pregnant as we stand around and discuss something you can’t remember?! I paid money for this class!

What I did say: That’s great! I’m sorry, I just missed what the instructor said!

During the entire class, Eileen paid little to no attention to her own dog. Instead, she asked Jeff to help her figure out how to e-mail a photo of Scout to her son. Also, she yelled out to random store employees to bring her a pet gate, a jogging vest, and a leash with neon paws on it for her dog. (They didn’t have the leash with the decorative paws, so her puppy remained leashless. Leashless and Humping.)

All of this to say: I have zero patience for flaky folks who don’t pay attention.

Also, I will never appreciate unschooling after hearing about it from Eileen.

Meanwhile, Scout is learning how to drive a car. Because she’s brilliant, and I’m becoming one of Those Puppy People who say things like, “Coot Widdle Pahpee.”

(I promise to not sing more songs about the puppy in my next post. You’re welcome.)

The End.

Scout has the keys.
Please come over and comment! You could win a $100 Visa gift card!Now get over here and watch my kids brush their teeth! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

17 thoughts on “There’s one (or more) in every crowd.”

  1. Grrrrrrrrr Is there a school for Eileen?. I know a bunch of people who could attend.

  2. Ruby, our older puppy, is in a beginner training class too. Thankfully we haven’t had an Eileen in there. We are retaking the class (for free at teacher’s suggestion) because sadly, Ruby and I are not doing so well. I don’t work with her much outside of class. Bad Mommy.

  3. Geez, why in the world did the instructor even let her stay? “Oh, you forgot your leash? See you at the next session, then!” Grrrrr.

    But you can sing songs about Scout as much as you want around here, Angie. I’m sure she will ace the class — clearly she is winning hearts around the world as we speak :-)

  4. We’re unschoolers. Does that help? I would have told the lady to restrain her dog the moment it started humping, and taken it up with the instructor if she didn’t. We’ve had too many unrestrained dog problems and I just don’t play that. I’ve been known to pick up strange dogs at the park and tell their owners I will just hold their dog for them if they won’t leash it around my kid. Not to criticize you, but to let you know this unschooler would have done the opposite of her. :)

  5. I’m curious about unschooling – it sounds like a lot of fun for the children and a lot of work for the parents. Of course, the chances that I would unschool my children are zero – because one must know their limits, and mine do not extend to being able to deliver the consistent learning environment that I am certain must be associated with understanding, developing and patiently delivering a curriculum that results in them actually achieving….
    Also – I suppose that unschooling is supposed to be about lack of curriculum – but realistically – unless it means that you let your children watch too many videos you are probably supposed to offer them learning environments and opportunities and WOW – all day every day is almost certainly more than I would manage.
    See – my limits – I know them! Still – curious about it…..interested in what skills it allows children to develop……

  6. you just showed that you have about 900,000% more niceness than I do – I would have not very politely asked her to get her $%* dog off of mine.

  7. At least one picture of Scout each week, please. AT LEAST one!
    Watch out here: as soon as she’s spayed she’ll probably ask you if she can have Facebook page and get her eyebrow pierced. Those feminine rights of passage encourage them to grow up SO fast!

  8. @elsimom, I think you’re selling yourself short. If you can go from being a nonparent to functionally taking care of kids, you can learn how to homeschool. If I can sit in a park for 4 hours once a week talking to more experienced homeschoolers and watching my kid from a distance, so can you. It’s not like you have to go it alone and be perfect right away–there are books, seminars, conferences, park days, instructions online! Re: skills, I don’t quite know what it would be impossible to gain unschooling. Also, kids need to work/play independantly at times–TV is not your only free time! And you don’t need to turn your house into a crazy Learning Environment. We have a globe, a chalkboard wall, a craft cabinet, games we don’t use, and a library addiction.

    This is a nice FAQ:
    and also
    especially has nice stuff about how unschoolers “turn out.”

  9. Gilbert’s obedience class started off with a large unneutered humper of indeterminate breeding; a very sweet Boxer puppy; a Doberman that hiked his leg and peed on the aforementioned Boxer during class; two mean-spirited Daschunds with a partially deaf owner; and a yappy little dog named Viking.

    The instructor did a passable job talking over the yapping, ignored the humping, and simply handed a roll of paper towels to the Dobie’s owner with a suggestion that he apologize profusely for his dog’s bad behavior.

    By the last class, the Dobie learned to hold his water, the Boxer’s owner figured out how to work a halter collar, Viking continued to yap, and Gilbert learned to “high five”. The rest of the class dropped out.

    Was it worth it? Um, yeah … but I’m glad I didn’t pay any more than I did. Hope Scout gets more out of her class!

  10. There IS always one of those in every class. I thought I was the only one who wished I could give them the Cyclops laser stare and cause them to spontaneously combust.

  11. Oh, don’t get me started! If I were the instructor, no shot records, you don’t come through the door and no leash, don’t bother. She needed to get a backbone. Also, the classes these days are to (long pause while I think of something politically correct to say) nice. I used to help my grandmother teach obedience classes and it is hard to find a good one these days. They are too worried they are going to hurt their feelings just like they worry about it to much with our kids. Hearing the work “no” is not going to kill them and they don’t have to be rewarded for every step they take. Sorry for the rant. Sore spot with me!

  12. Sorry about your puppy preschool. That lady sounds like a right hag. Now I just have to brag. Maxi learnt how to sit today! What a clebber widdle pup.

Comments are closed.