Today is the annual Field Day at the girls’ school. Because Jeff is The Athletic Parent and I am The Couch Parent, he took a vacation day to spend seven hours playing outdoor games with the kids. Sadly, yesterday he came home sick with a terrible stomachache and a fever. Because he has an assigned job, it seems unacceptable to not step up and act as his replacement.
Guess who will be lugging around a huge cooler full of water this morning from 9:00 until noon? Me! My official job is Water Relief, and I really should do some push-ups or something because I can barely move the vacuum around for three minutes before my arms start flashing the gang sign for Extreme Fatigue. The instruction sheet says, “Please walk around with the cooler and ask adult volunteers only if they would like a water bottle.” (The kids will have their own bottles.) Here’s hoping another parent has the assignment of asking me if I would like a cot! (Because I would like a cot! Or a scooter!)
The Water Relief shift will require more brawn than brains. To compensate for that, I’ll be spending the afternoon shift in charge of Gym Choice which involves Beach Volleyball, Basketball, and Beanbag Electronic Game. I’m cool with Beanbag Electronic Game, but I have absolutely no clue on volleyball or basketball. (The coach has provided detailed instructions, and I’ve been studying those and trying to picture it all in my head for the past hour.) Funny. I own three shirts that say Mid-County Volleyball Champion. The girls believe that I *am* the Mid-County Volleyball Champion. In reality, Jeff gave me those shirts nearly a decade ago. He was on the winning team. I was on the couch.
I wonder if I could shift focus and teach 500 kids how to crochet a bookmark or roll a cake ball?