Everybody’s talking ’bout mediations, United Nations, congratulations on my tubal ligation…

Despite some fairly minor glitches, the tying of the tubes was a success!

Glitch #1: Everyone I talked to at the hospital seemed a bit worried to hear that I was on a solo mission. Jeff dropped me off at 6:00, and planned on being back by 8:15. The surgery was scheduled for 8:00, and normally takes about 45 minutes to complete. In the pre-op prep area, I was surrounded by people headed off to Major surgery, and they were surrounded by family and friends. I brought my knitting. Minds were boggled.

Glitch #2: I was handed a plastic cup and a vial. I was told to pee in the cup and pour it into the vial. The vial did not have a flat bottom, so the entire process became an exercise in problem solving. If I pour the pee into the vial before I wash my hands, I’ll have to continue to hold the vial, making hand washing impossible, which is unacceptable. If I wash my hands and THEN pour the pee into the vial, I’ll probably want to wash my hands again. I refuse to turn my face toward the sky with the vial in my mouth. Wait. What would MacGyver do? I peed into the cup, washed my hands, poured the pee into the vial, CAREFULLY tucked the vial behind the elastic band of my underpants, washed my hands again, grabbed the vial with my towel, and journeyed back to the nursing station feeling very proud of myself.

Nurse: Oh! Where’s the lid for the vial?

Me: There was no lid.

Nurse: Are you sure there wasn’t a lid?

Me: Believe me. There was no lid.

Glitch #3: The computer crashed twice as the nurse tried to enter my information.

Me: Do you think this means I really AM supposed to have another baby?

Nurse: What?

Me: Nothing.

Glitch #4: My surgeon ran into traffic and the nurses were freaking out on the fact that it was surgery time! But no surgeon! When she did show up, she was wearing a really amazing skirt that she scored for three dollars at Macy’s. (I love my doctor.)

Glitch #5: Endometriosis. Who knew? Apparently, it was a mild case, and my doctor was able to remove it. (Did you know that endometriosis may cause headaches? I’m feeling sort of optimistic about the endometriosis/headache connection!)

Hey, look! It’s me! Drunk on narcotics/anesthesia, yet still wanting you to give peace a chance!


Glitch #6: I was unable to see straight for about 48 hours after the surgery. I believe I can blame the anti-nausea patch the anesthesiologist placed behind my ear. That little patch was pretty incredible. The Not Being Able to See thing was NOT so incredible, as it made knitting/reading/watching television impossible.

Jeff and the girls let me spend most of the weekend in bed.

My parents delivered a huge box of peaches.

Henry and Scout became friends.


And today, because I’m still not feeling up for driving, I’m knitting a pumpkin hat for an autumnal baby.

Pumpkin Head

All is well. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

29 thoughts on “Everybody’s talking ’bout mediations, United Nations, congratulations on my tubal ligation…”

  1. Wow, you are super-cute even post-op!
    I’d never heard that endometriosis (it is SO a word, Chrome! Look it up!) could cause headaches, so hooray for finding and removing that!

  2. Congrats on making your lady parts a BABY FREE zone! I think a full week of nothing but rest and knitting is called for.

  3. I’ve accompanied my husband on several out-patient surgeries. One thing it’s taken me a really long to time to learn is that the people working in the surgery centers have no sense of humor. None.

    Your success has given me hope that when it’s my turn, all will be well.

  4. Oh! You have a picture of Meredeth in one of those incredible hats :-) I very nearly asked to commission one of those from you, but spotted something similar (not nearly so nice as yours though) in a bundle of hand-me-downs I was helping the baby mama sort through the other day. No real need for two pumpkin hats on one baby I guess :-(

    Really glad to hear you are on the mend. I had that same procedure done when baby#2 was born so I guess all the post-op stuff got blurred right in with the post-partum stuff. I recall nothing!

  5. I know that hormones can trigger headaches/migraines so clearing up the endo might help that. I can state that since my hysterectomy 2 years ago I have only had 1 migraine and very few headaches.

  6. I never knew of the endometriosis/migraine connection, either! What a great side effect if you’re cured :-)

    And despite all the glitches I’m glad all went well!

  7. I find it quite interesting that the first thing you knit after having your tubes tied is a baby hat. That has to say something about you…. doesn’t it?

  8. I had endo (severe, I am plumbing free because of it) and no one ever told me of the headache connection. I wonder if it’s come back? Hmmm.

    I am so glad everything went well for you despite glitchyness.

  9. All we are saying, is give pee a chance.

    I’ve been seeing a urologist (oh DON’T ASK) and the whole decanting of the pee has me stymied.

    Glad yer okay. Youngest can never see right after general anesthesia. No worries!

  10. Glad you are better.

    I do badly after surgery (I’ve had 10) because of uber nausea that lasts forever. I’d rather have abdominal – or any surgery – with a local. No joke.

    I had endometriosis back in the 80’s, had to have laser surgery and an ugly drug regamine. Which evidently worked – I had the Stooges!

    Rest & recuperate.

  11. I am headed for a similar surgery next year sometime. The combination of your story (nausea? three days for recovery?) and that adorable pumpkin hat make me wonder if we need an autumnal baby first.


  12. So glad it went well – and my fingers are also crossed that the endometriosis removal helps with the migraines!

    Take it easy, doll. :^) H

  13. You are a master of careful pant- elastic-pee-vial management.

    I would have poured the pee into the vial, then put the vial into the cup while I washed my hands. Of course, then I would have knocked it off the counter and it would have spilled all over and even though I’m great at peeing on demand, I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to produce for the shame of the pee puddle I’d created on the floor (and would people think I’d actually peed on the floor? even though I cleaned it up? on hands and knees? and how many other people’s pee has been on this floor? and why am I on my hands and knees here?)

  14. Yay for safe tubal ligations! Yay for possibly saying goodbye to headaches. Boo for endometriosis! Boo for pee vials without lids! Yay for autumnal babies… I think that about covers it :)

  15. Yay for being done with the surgery. I hope the headaches go away asap!

    And also I love the pumpkin hat. I made my nephew a pumpkin hat. he wears it all the time. Which I feel is a success.

  16. I’m glad all is well and you’re knitting again. I broke my arm 5 weeks ago and I’m just starting to knit again.

  17. If I had stayed in the military instead of leaving and becoming happier than I ever could’ve imagined possible, I would now be a Major and all the people would have referred to me as Major Surgery because of my uncanny ability to cut through bureaucratic red tape and other assorted dipshittery that’s attached to working with and for the government.

    That’s a lie, of course. They’d call me Major Surgery because I’d be the angry guy always walking around with a knife. As I said, it’s best that I left when I did.

    ‘Millions of peaches. Peaches for free.’

  18. Glad everything went well. Also that you can see straight again? I hope? I have been known to throw up after waking up from anesthesia, and also just from pain (after the first time I gave birth), I threw up, twice, right after we finally allowed everyone in to see the baby. Thank goodness my mom was there and she knows my “I’m about to vomit” face. Okay, too much information?

    Anyway: yay for you. And definitely do let me know about the endometriosis/migraine connection. I know some of my migraines are directly related to hormones, and I have suspected that I have endometriosis for some time, and endometriosis is related to hormones (or maybe the other way around). Anway, you’re a peach, enjoy the ones from *your* mom. Enjoy the new worry-free life. When my hubs had the big snip, we found the worry-free portion of our existence to be, uh, liberating, if you get what I’m saying. (There I go again with the TMI. Sorry.)

  19. All I saw in the hospital picture was the oxygen monitor and thought that looked incredibly like ET’s finger.

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