The phone rings. I pick it up.
Guy: Hello there! It’s Ben from The Place Where You Bought A Car One Time!
Me: Oh! Hi there!
Ben: I’m just calling to wish you a happy two year anniversary with the Sonata!
Me: Has it really been two years?
Ben: It has! Are you still liking the car?
Me: We’re loving the car!
Ben: Great! Well, this might sound silly, but I’m calling to give you my phone number in case you ever want to send one of your friends or family members over to The Place Where You Bought A Car One Time. If they actually buy a car from me, I’ll send you fifty dollars!
Me: That doesn’t sound silly. I spent fifty dollars filling up my tank this morning!
Ben: I hear you. (He continues talking and Henry decides that he needs to go outside and my potato finishes baking in the oven and everything is happening all at once, so my brain hiccups and all I hear is…) …so Happy Anniversary!
(Suddenly, Henry is knocking on the back door and I’m balancing the phone between my shoulder and chin and I have my hands in the oven and I have completely forgotten why I’m on the telephone, so I do what you do when a pleasant-sounding man wishes you a happy anniversary.)
Me: Happy anniversary. I love you.
(Suddenly, I realize what I have done, and I quickly hang up. You see, I do not love Ben, but I also don’t want to hurt his feelings so soon after using the L word.)