Just a few things you might want to know:

If I’m singing a song about clipper burn, don’t start tossing in lines about anal gland expression.

Don’t ever ask me if I want that bagel for free. Of course I want that bagel for free. Free bagel!

If my nose is infected again, I’m not just going to tell you that it’s infected. I’m going to take a photo of it, and then I’m going to edit the crap out of that photo until it looks like it was taken in 1976, and all of a sudden you can’t tell that my nose is infected. It just looks like I’m tossing up a photo of myself taken during the year I turned six years old. Really. Look! Amateur photo editing can be a ridiculous waste of time, especially when I’m the amateur. (There’s a morning sun in the kitchen, and there’s always a bird when you listen.)

Photo on 2012-07-12 at 14.45

My hair is growing out. I have a strategy! AND, although I’m getting dangerously close to the intersection of Emo Philips and Andy Warhol in the Venn Diagram of Hair Growth, please know that when December comes, everything is going to be all worked out on the outside of my head, which will free me up to tackle the inside!

We cannot have Doritos in the house. Especially if I find out that they’re vegan. Because, to me, vegan equals healthy, regardless of the ingredients.

For the past few evenings, I’ve been taking these:


And combining them to make this:


Clipper burn! Not anal sac!! Clipper burn!!!

(I used to sit on my bedroom floor and listen to this album for hours. I always loved the captain.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

9 thoughts on “Just a few things you might want to know:”

  1. Oh, Oscar had that evil clipper burn in that place. I used Tucks pads after he pooed for a week or so and it was better. I waited until we got home though; no need for the neighbors to think I wipe my dogs butt.

  2. I have NEVER HEARD the BUDDERscotch Castle song before! Oh, the vibrations are flowin’ in a positive way now!

    It’s a good thing I don’t have kids, because now I’d be tempted to break up fights by breaking out “Ohhhh, everybody needs a hooooommmeee, where all the vibrations are flowin’ in a positive way!” and then make them hug it out while singing the rest of the song.

    Muskrat love, baby!

  3. Ow…nose infection. Get some cute little clips or headbands until your hair grows out so you feel like you have a new style. “Growing out” is such a difficult phase in life. Plus, you could totally rock the headband look! I can’t wait to see video of your Color Run!

  4. Awwww. I loved the Captain too! Imagine my delight when I went to baton twirling camp and we got to do an entire choreographed routine to “Muskrat Love!” (This was, without a doubt, the girliest thing I did in my entire life until I put on a wedding dress and got married.)

  5. I know I’m a bit late on this, but when your nose gets irritated (which it most likely will a few times during the healing period), go back to the sea salt soaks (meaning soak a cotton ball in sea salt water and hold it on there for 5-10 minutes twice a day).

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