It’s now. And now it’s now.

A lot of not so much has happened since we last spoke.


A few signs went up in the front yard, and as a result we’ve now had a number of rooms painted and the carpet guys (if they ever call us back) should be here within the next few weeks. I need to thank you all for your words of encouragement and sanity last week. We are definitely moving, and we’ve expanded our search engine to include homes within our current school district as well as homes that are thirty minutes away. We’re open. The girls will thrive and I’ll continue to eat too many doughnuts regardless of where my hat is hung.

Today is the first day of summer break, and Meredith is no longer an elementary school student. She has been attending her elementary school since preschool, which means she has roamed those halls for eight years. It was weird to pick her up for the last time yesterday afternoon.


(Henry, who always has a bit of nature stuck to him) turned three yesterday. He celebrated with salmon jerky and sweet potato fries.)

I’ve been reading a book titled 10% Happier by Dan Harris. I believe it’s marketed as a self help book, but that’s not why I’m reading it. (I already consider myself to be mostly happy. Although my family would probably disagree, I don’t think the world could stand me at 10% happier.) Anyway, I’m a little less than halfway through the book, and I already want to invite Dan Harris over for burrito night. He’s cynical (I always love the cynics) and has spent the pages I’ve read so far embarking on a new age path of spirituality in an attempt to settle the never ending voice in his head. (The voice isn’t related to mental illness. It’s the voice we all have. Mine spends the entire day telling me that I look bad in my clothes or that I’m not as smart as I think I am or that I’m a crappy mom. Just now it told me that it wishes I could type faster.)

I could go on and on about how much I agree with everything I’ve read to this point (Deepak Chopra IS over the top! Eckhart Tolle IS weird!), but the thing that’s really striking me right now is how much I’m loving his discussion on Buddhism and how it’s important to not dwell on the past or suffer through weird “what ifs” about the future. Present moment. It’s all about right now. (Right now I’m drinking my second cup of coffee for the day and I look bad in my clothes. Gah!) Anyway. I love my religion, yet I also love the idea of incorporating some of the Buddhist ideas into the way I live. Less fear about what might not happen. Stop wasting time on grudges. (I’m the biggest grudge holder you barely know.) Death happens and life should be celebrated and I’m wearing Birkenstocks.

Anyway. I know. Just be aware that coping with the process of moving will be a lot easier if I allow myself to live in the moment and simply smile politely at the folks who tell me that moving sucks and that it will be the most stressful thing I’ll ever experience.

Please know that I will not be participating in a sweat lodge or dancing naked at a drum circle. (With that said, it’s going to be a hot day today and our only plan is to go out and rent a bell kit and practice pad for Meredith’s percussion band camp, so really, who knows what I’ll be up to later this afternoon? Bring on the dancing horses!)

God’s totally cool with me doing whatever it takes to feel less rattled about things that happened years ago or things that might happen tomorrow. (We’re having lunch with my nephew tomorrow. I’m not the least bit rattled.)

Oh, you guys. Have I told you lately how much I love that you tolerate me?

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15 thoughts on “It’s now. And now it’s now.”

  1. I lost my job 16 months ago. At that moment, everything changed. And through that experience, I learned a lot about myself and how much more I can handle when I stay in the present. It was an amazing gift as I think my relationships and certainly how I handle stress changed with that simple (and at the same time, terribly difficult) notion of staying in the present. Past is past. Future is future. Now is now.

  2. It seems to me from my reading of the New Testament that Jesus had a plan-for-the-future, live-in-the-moment attitude. The Golden Rule, forgiving others, take-no-thought-for-the-morrow, lilies of the fields neither toil nor spin pronouncements all seem to be aimed at getting his followers to pay attention to where they were and who they were with and how they should therefore act. I also think this is the purpose of repentance–a reassurance that even though we don’t always do what we should, we can look back, reconsider, and recommit without carrying regrets around.

    I don’t think that Jesus would find having lunch with the Buddha at all problematic. Probably finds it relaxing. And both of them would probably say that it takes an incredible amount of faith to live in the moment.

    For another musing on living in the moment, I’d also refer to Carl Dennis’ poem “Drugstore,” the last lines of which are pinned up over my desk: “Don’t be ashamed of the homely thought/That whatever you might do elsewhere,/In the time remaining, you might do here/If you can resolve, at last, to pay attention.”

  3. Moving is stressful, but worth it. I’m in the last stages of moving right now, the unpacking. Ugh.

    Good luck to you. I’m sure you will find a wonderful home!

  4. You will get through moving, it’s painful but you’ll be so happy when it’s done. I had a small house (starter home) and managed to sell it in 24 hours. May yours sell as easily.

  5. I used to attend a weekly Buddhist meditation group. Many of the other people in the group were also members of other religions. One of the members was even a nun. I found that fascinating because OK is not a big Catholic area. Baptist country.

  6. Lord, but that dog is cute!
    We figured out this weekend that we can sell this house, buy 2-3 in Shrewbury and retire earlier than planned with rental income.

    Totally not happening soon, of course. But it was a nice to think about.

    Good for you for keeping it open ended!

  7. Glad to hear you’re going forward. Moving is stressful. Not moving is stressful. So you’ve opted for the one that means you get something cool at the end!

    I don’t personally know anyone who doesn’t like some part of Buddhism. There is much to be said for something that just makes you feel so peaceful. Apparently, Buddha wouldn’t mind your bringing your faith along with you to practice some of what he taught.

    Henry is a heartbreaker — I just want to scoop him up and bring him home with me.

    Sounds like you’re your old self, again. Welcome back.

  8. Would it make you feel better to hear that we have bought a house on an island? A civilised island, but – an ISLAND! And the house is down a precipitous driveway, and we’ve been in this house 20 years, and our last daughter has just moved out and it’s ALL CHANGE! I see your stress and raise it continuous sleepless nights.

  9. We don’t just tolerate you, we look forward to reading your words whenever you have time to check in. Happy house selling!

  10. I am glad things with the house are going well. And I know you will find something that makes you all happy:) The book sounds like something I need. I need to live in the present. I am a worry wart and a grudge holder. Not healthy. But it’s who I am. Though I’d like it to be a bit less of either. I love my kids school so the idea of my children not being there till 8th grade is strange. I can understand in a way. Happy 3rd birthday Henry!

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