Twice in the past week, I’ve run across a medical question for which the answer is “Insert a fist into the vagina.” Granted, I’m working on a maternal health freelance project, but still! Twice in one week! What could it mean?! (I know what it *actually* means. It’s fairly self-explanatory with a fist and a vagina. I’m talking about *cosmic* meaning.)
I took Harper to the orthodontist on Tuesday and it’s time for braces! The financial side of this is a bit bothersome (!!!), but was made slightly less painful when I learned that the orthodontist feels the same way I do about Dave Eggers. Heroes of the Frontier? Not so great. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius? Great, if read at a time when it hits you as great. Timing is everything. Always. Always! (Don’t get me started on Hugh Everett and/or astral projection. Unless you WANT to get me started, Mick Jagger.)
This morning I drove 20 miles south for a flu shot, and I’m afraid it gave me a bit of meningitis. (I’m probably exaggerating.) When I go hard core with heavy medical freelance deadlines, I tend to up my impressionability levels (which are shockingly high even when I’m NOT going hard core with heavy medical freelance deadlines). This afternoon I’ll be working on a chapter about spinal cord injuries, which I think means we need to invest in some bubble wrap.
My family has a big case of the Let’s Get The Hell Out Of Heres. Luckily, the girls have a ten day fall break coming up. All I want to do is lie on the grass and look at a mountain. Bonus if it’s capped with snow. Double bonus if I’m drinking something warm. Triple bonus? Cardigan and no one is crabby and maybe a sandwich or beer float is coming my way.
Wait. Do I need this? And when I say need, what I really mean is want. (I’m pretty sure my answer is Yes.)
While I’ve got you here, let me toss a few more photos at you to prove that I exist!
My yoga buddy knows that I’ve filled our kitchen window with creamers, even though I really hate the word creamer. Because of her kindness, I now have a dachshund in the window!
And because Tempe knows where the cool kids buy their shirts, I now have a Barb shirt!
And because Chip sleeps like this on my side of the bed, I’m not getting more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time.
The makeup app I was using in my most recent post? It doesn’t work on dogs, but it works on creepy doll photos.
Fun fact: The first movie I saw at a drive-in was Westworld when I was four years old, and I really need to see it again.