Several months ago
My doctor: You should drop some weight. The Lose It! app can give you insight into your habits.
Me: I love Lose It! I lost 20 pounds with Lose It! a few years back.
Several months later, but more specifically, this morning
Lose It!: Tink, tink, tink! Hey! I’ve been thinking about you and all of the foods you love, so look what I made for you!
Me: Wait. That can’t be right.
Lose It!: Mokokoma Mokhonoana once said, “While facts do kill ignorance, ignoring facts does not kill them.”
Lose It!: Edith Wharton once said, “Genius is of small use to a woman who does not know how to do her hair!”
Lose It!: Heather O’Neill once said that you are often only an ethical question away from being a prostitute. She also said that if we all knew that we were all perverts, we might all be a lot happier.
Lose It!: Madame Bovary wanted to die, but she also wanted to live in Paris.
Lose It: You loved it when the guy in the Family Fang said, “Right now, right this very minute, I’m sitting on my childhood bed, drinking Percocet-laced orange soda out of a straw that I’m holding in the gap where my tooth used to be, before it got shattered by a potato.”