It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

There’s a reason I’m posting twice in one day.

I’m pregnant. (I’m not really pregnant.)

Actually, it’s BETTER than that: I’m giving away a $200 gift card to Best Buy.

(I know. That’s not REALLY better than being pregnant, is it? Actually, it all sort of depends on what side of the fence you’re leaning on!)

((I sort of liked Ishtar.))

Repeating: I am NOT pregnant. But I AM making out with my dishwasher and wanting to give you a $200 Best Buy gift card.

Weird. I currently have three giveaway things going on. That has never happened before. Are you feeling lucky? You certainly look lucky. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Blame it on the rays? Yeah. Yeah!

For some unknown reason, I spent the entire weekend dressed up as Petulant Pudding. I’m choosing to blame my foulness on the stingrays we visited at the St. Louis Zoo Saturday morning. I have to blame my ire on something, you see, and because the stingrays are now loaded up and on their way to Phoenix, I think it’s safe to blame quite a few things on them. I sat on the couch growling yesterday instead of attending the church picnic because of the stingrays. I was quite unsocial at Meredith’s soccer game yesterday afternoon because of the stingrays. I almost threw up my breakfast yesterday morning because of the stingrays. (The fact that my milk had curdled had nothing to do with it, I’m sure. Stinking stingrays.)

I wish I had an entertaining story for you, but, well, it appears that my cat has herpes. Apparently, herpes in a cat is not a serious thing. In fact, it’s quite common. According to the veterinarian, when a herpefied cat (my term, not his) is put in a stressful situation, the herpes will flare up and will often manifest itself in the form of sneezing fits and drainage. Apparently, the overnight stay at the vet office last week stressed Ramona out a bit. As a result, she sneezed something like 3,284 times last night. And because she sleeps at the foot of our bed and her sneezes come out as cute little high-pitched screams, we didn’t get much sleep last night. (It’s hard to blame our exhaustion on the stingrays, but Ramona insists we do so.)

A few weeks ago, my kids ate spinach, beans, and bread. And we shot a video. And now I’m giving away $100 plus a year’s supply of Wonder® bread! Follow me over here if you’re interested. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Miss Crazy in Prison with the Makeup

I stopped by the Crazy Lady Starbucks last night on my way to work. While there, I asked if they experienced any sort of customer disturbance on Saturday morning at 9:45ish. And they had! Apparently, the woman who yelled at me in the parking lot entered Starbucks and started acting all crazy and screaming out her drink order. The manager wanted to avoid a scene, so she escorted Miss Crazy (I know, that’s mean. But I refuse to keep calling her “the woman”. Wait. Let’s call her Beyoncé just to add some sparkle to the story.), I mean, the manager escorted Beyoncé to the head of the line where Beyoncé continued to yell out inappropriate things to the employees and the other customers.

After getting her coffee, Beyoncé sat in a corner and talked to herself for nearly an hour. And here’s the part of the story that haunts me: She didn’t bring her child into Starbucks with her. In other words, I really should have hung out a bit longer, because Beyoncé left her child in a car seat in a van in a parking lot (in St. Charles, in Missouri, in the United States, in North America, continue to pan out, etc.) for an hour while she sat inside muttering battys and whatnots. Hhhhhhhh.

Funniest Thing The Starbucks Guy Said to Me: Yeah, thanks for waiting four days to check in on us. If she had been swinging a knife, we would still be bleeding while you were “out there” doing your ugly hair thing!

Insert seamless segue right here, would you?

So, I’ve got this fresh thing under my arm (you WANT me to spare the details.), but I can’t go see my dermatologist BECAUSE HE IS IN PRISON. (So, I’m going to see my gynecologist instead. Monday morning. 8:15. Don’t worry.) By the way, did I mention that my dermatologist is in PRISON? I do hope they crown him Dermatologist Amongst the Prisoners, because he did cure the ugly batch of eczema on my hand (Remember when I had to wear the gloves? Yeesh.), and I’m a firm believer in requiring dermatologist prisoners to palliate the perplexing pustules of their prisoner peers. (I know. I’m making light. And the reason he is in prison is so completely horrible. Unforgivable, really.)

Another segue here! You’re getting good at this!

I’m giving away a hefty amount of Max Factor stuff over here. And even if you’re not into scoring makeup, you should at least jump over and witness the disaster that is me after applying 39 years worth of makeup in one sitting. (My mom doesn’t have any photographs of me playing with makeup as a child. Now she does. You know, minus that whole Child thing.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I love you and you and you and you (repeat and fade)…

Thanks so much for your kind words and e-mails regarding the Possibly Crazy with a Big C lady and the reflux stuff. Once again. You guys? The greatest. Hands down.

One more thing: If you’re interested in reading about Snapfish products and possibly winning a $50 Snapfish gift card for Father’s Day, step on over to my side room. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

If you don’t love the Snow Puffs, I’ll shave my head and post questionable photos. (And that is not a promise!)

When I was in the eighth grade, I had a terrible day at school. (I actually had several terrible days, but one really stands out.) Without going into too much detail, let me just say this: I had to wear a raincoat throughout the day because I was dealing with teenage girl issues and didn’t have much backup and now you know exactly what I’m talking about, and it was hot outside, so I was all sweaty and smelly in my raincoat and people kept asking why I was wearing a raincoat when it had stopped raining three hours ago and “The sun is out! It’s too hot for a jacket! We’re running laps in PE, and you’re still wearing a raincoat?! What’s that smell? Why are you crying?!”

When I got home from school that day, I remember changing clothes and going into the kitchen to find something to eat. My mom had been to the store earlier that day, and she had bought those Star Crunch cookie things. I sat on the floor and ate four of them, and my world was suddenly bright again. (You know, until the next day when so-and-so didn’t look at me the right way (or not at all) and I missed a word on my spelling test or whatever. Ugh, eighth grade.)

Shortly after I met Jeff he told me that his mom used to stock the house with Oatmeal Pies, and that he would often come home from school and eat a number of them just to forget about the day.

(We are soul mates.)

Anyway, Little Debbie has now come out with a line of one hundred calorie snacks and they sent some to me a few weeks back, because they saw me exercising through the window and wanted to provide some healthy snacks as I attack Project Pudding Pounddown 2009.

Because I love you and today is day worthy of a huge celebration that includes free cake (even if you’re terribly self-conscious and wearing a raincoat), I’m giving out a big box of the Little Debbie 100 Calorie Snacks to three lucky people. In this box, you’ll receive the following (listed in my order of preference) Snow Puffs, Nutty Bars, Marshmallow Treats, Whole Wheat Wafer Nutty Bars, Yellow Cakes, Chocolate Cakes, Triple Fudge Brownies, and Gingerbread Cookies. (Descriptions and photos are here.)

Just leave a comment below and tell me your favorite Little Debbie memory. OR, tell me about your most horrific day in the eighth grade. Or, tell me nothing. I’ll still put your name in the drawing, because I’m cool like that.

Names will be drawn on Friday morning after I wake up and enjoy an egg or two.

EDITED TO ADD: Thanks SO much to everyone for the stories! I wish I could send Little Debbies to each and every one of you! All winners have been notified. If any of them change their mind, I’ll draw more names! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Shoes and Delhi’s Chaat and Drake Bell and Pork!

2008 Pudding Christmas

First off and most importantly? Merry Christmas from The Puddings.

Our day has been filled with stuffed animals that whimper, a Drake Bell concert DVD, both sets of grandparents, a little of this, a lot more of that, Danskos, a two hour nap (for everyone!), and Gokul. It really doesn’t get much better.

AND, this afternoon the Random Number Generator spit this out:
Random Integer Generator!

In other words, Alli is the winner of the hat! And I have contacted her, and she is thrilled, and HOORAY! I really should do knitted giveaways more often.

I hope your day was as peaceful as ours. (And that unlike me, you didn’t have terrible dreams about your husband dropping your kids off at a stranger’s home just so he could enjoy a $4.99 plate of BBQ pork with a questionable woman.)

Dry rubbed pork plate in excelsis deo!

And on Earth, peace, good will toward men. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

It’s beginning to look a lot like a bucket hat giveaway!

One of my knitting goals for 2009 is to become comfortable with stranded knitting. To kick off that goal one week early, I sat down on Friday and started my version of this hat. Yesterday afternoon? I finished it. I am not yet done with Christmas shopping, nor have I sent out all of my Christmas cards. I have baked no cookies. I haven’t made out a grocery list. However, unto us this day in the city of St. Louis, a hat which is way too big was born.

Okay. People always say things to me like, “With that short hair of yours, I bet you look good in hats!” And, up until yesterday, I sort of (reluctantly) agreed. However, this “I Really Should Have Been Christmas Shopping Instead” hat definitely does not look good on me.


So, anyway. I want to give you the hat. It really is fairly lovely for a First Time at Colorwork attempt. It’s 30% silk and 70% Extrafine Merino Wool, which means it’s definitely a handwash only sort of thing. It would look especially nice on someone who has a large noggin or lots of hair adorning their normal-sized noggin.


Leave a Happy Holidays Christmas Hatty sort of comment (or something similar, or not so similar at all), and on Christmas Day I’ll pull out the old randomizer and: Free Fluid Pudding Knitted Silk/Wool Hat to Someone Out There! Because it’s Christmas! And happy holidays to you! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Winners and Whatnot

At around 7:00 this morning, I tallied up the votes on the Reunion Ensemble Conundrum. Out of 86 people who had definite opinions (some commented in other threads, some sent direct e-mails), 43 people chose Outfit One, and 43 people chose Outfit Two.

Me: Jeff, this is unbelievable! 86 people have voted, and we have a tie! Wait a second. What if this happens in November?!

Jeff: I believe The People will be a bit more stirred about the presidential election. I have a funny feeling more than 86 votes will be tallied.

Me: Thank God you’re never wrong.

So, anyway, I’m still torn. And because I’m still torn, I went out and bought a red pair of these this morning just in case I go with the dress. (After all of the discounts and coupons, I got them for twenty bucks!) (By the way, I think it’s a bit ridiculous that you can look at shoes in High Definition at the DSW site. I almost feel like that option is way too high-tech for me. Shoes. Now in High Def! Well worth the load time wait!)

(Jeff has voted for the dress.)

Also, and most importantly, earlier this afternoon, I did this:

Because the lucky number is 19, Larissa has won the Build a Bear gift card. Thanks to all who left comments. I hope to give more things away in the future. Wait. Does anyone want the can of creamed corn from my cupboard? It’s a bit past the expiration date, and although it seemed like a great idea when I bought it, I can’t really seem to stir up the necessary motivation to really go for it. (My grandpa used to eat creamed corn sandwiches. Also, spaghetti sandwiches. And onion sandwiches. He would probably love to know that I sometimes eat apple sandwiches. Anyway. Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time rewritten every line?)

It’s now time to pack up your stuff and go home. Let’s get this weekend started. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

It’s the Autumnal Equinox Giveaway!

I don’t have anything against Miley Cyrus. Anything she does, naked or not naked, is none of my business. (Although the media is dying for me to know that Miley took a 20-year-old tank top sporting boy to church last weekend, I really couldn’t care less. However, for some unknown reason, I’m retaining that information.)

A few weeks back I received an e-mail from the kind folks at Build-A-Bear asking if they could send a Hannah Montana bear to the girls, along with a $25 gift card to be given away at Fluid Pudding. Knowing that my kids would either fight over or just not get into the Hannah Montana bear, I went ahead and took it (with the card) and set the plan to give it all away.

Less than 24 hours after signing on to take the bear, the biggest Hannah Montana fan I know fell and broke her arm at a friend’s house. And what sucks is that this girl loves gymnastics, but can no longer participate with a huge cast on her arm. And when kids get their feelings hurt along with their bones, my heart bleeds. Immediately, I knew who would get the bear. (Closed door! Open window! Not really. But sort of!)

Look at this bear:

Adorable. Fuzzy. Soft. Wearing a glittery shirt that says Ready to Rock. And although it lacks the ability to mend bones, it did bring a smile to the recipient’s face. And that’s never a bad thing.

All of this to say: If you’re interested in the $25 gift card to Build-a-Bear, I can hook you up. $25 would get you a naked Hannah Montana Bear (you can stage your own Vanity Fair photo shoot!), or just about any other Build-A-Bear friend. Best of all, Build-A-Bear sells donation animals. When you purchase a donation animal, a percentage of the proceeds is donated to charity. I hereby encourage you to use the card toward the purchase of a donation animal.

Anyway, leave a comment below and I’ll enter you in the drawing. On Friday at noon (CST), I’ll draw a name and notify the winner! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>