I’m about to break a Girl Scout law.

Last week Meredith came home from school with a note that said something like “Scouting Registration Night! Wednesday! 6:00!”

I talked to Meredith for a bit, and she expressed an interest in scouting. So, I called the school.

Apparently, Scouting Registration Night is for Boy Scouts only. The administrative assistant at the school told me that registration night doesn’t exist for the Girl Scouts and that she doesn’t have any additional information about Girl Scouts.
I should have let it die right there. BUT, because I’m nothing if not tenacious, I called the Girl Scouts of America to try to track down a local leader.
The Girl Scouts of America told me to call the Girl Scouts of Greater St. Louis (GS-GSL) for leader contact information. Okay! Now we’re sort of getting somewhere maybe.

I eventually reached Cindy from GS-GSL. After babbling on about how old Meredith is and what school she attends, Cindy said the following.

Cindy: Okay. Your troop coordinator is Bonnie. I will call her and give her your information. If she doesn’t call you within two days, call her and leave a message. If she doesn’t return your call, call me back.

Me: Well, that’s sort of weird, but okay.

I waited two days. No call from Bonnie. I then called Bonnie, left a message, and waited two days. She never called back.

Cindy: Okay. Since Bonnie didn’t call you, I’d like you to call Victoria. If she doesn’t call you back, I’ll ask you to call Sheila, who is here at the GS-GSL.

I called Victoria. She didn’t answer the phone. Within two minutes of me hanging up, my phone rang.

Victoria: This is Victoria. You called me?

I told her the whole story, and she told me that she would call me back. And she did. Five minutes later.

Victoria: I’m going to ask you to call Bonnie.

Me: I called Bonnie. Cindy at the GS-GSL called Bonnie. Bonnie doesn’t return calls.

Victoria: Well, Bonnie is definitely the person you need to contact. Do me a favor and leave Bonnie another message. Dawn and I will see Bonnie on Thursday, and I’ll let her know that she should return your call. Then, Dawn will call you on Friday.

(I have no idea who Dawn is.)
Hhhhhhh. Onmyhonor,IwilltrytoserveGod,mycountry,andmankindandtolivebytheGirlScoutLaw.
I *do* know that I’m no longer excited about Meredith being a Girl Scout.
And I’m wondering why everyone seems to walk on eggshells around Bonnie.
Why should Victoria have to tell Bonnie that it’s okay to return my call about Girl Scouts when Bonnie’s job is to return calls about Girl Scouts?!

I know you hate me for saying this: I’m done with these women. And if they were men, I would say that I’m done with these men.

Do you want to know who else I’m done with? (I recently read that it’s okay to end a sentence with a preposition, especially if moving the preposition would introduce awkwardness.) I’m done with the Tuesday night ballet/tap moms. (I’ll talk about them some other time. Or maybe I won’t. Are you bored by stories of moms who sit around bashing other moms because of their socioeconomic status? Yeah, me too. And although life is too short to sit in a room full o’ ugly, Meredith really loves to dance. So, tonight I shall wear my Don’t Talk to Me clothes and try to look as invisible as possible while the Mean Moms torch another friend who lives on the outskirts of Easy Street.)

And this is what I really wanted to tell you: Harper’s been throwing really amazing tantrums lately. They’re completely unpredictable, and they involve kicking, hitting, throwing things, and screaming. Oh! The screaming! This morning’s tantrum hit right after I turned off the shower water. Apparently, she wanted to watch me take a shower and “I WANTED TO WATCH YOU TAKE A SHOWER!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!” And she threw her cereal and Jeff carried her (kicking and screaming) to sit in The Thinking Chair, which is sort of our clever version of Time Out, and gheez. The tantrum never ended. They never end! They’ve been going on for over six months and are getting worse instead of better and the doctor thought it was reflux, but it ended up not being reflux, and gheez.

I’m tired.
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9 thoughts on “I’m about to break a Girl Scout law.”

  1. I’m with you! On the dance moms, I just started bringing my laptop and doing some photo work, or going to the local coffee shop to read my book.

    This year I made a friend of one of the mom’s (who’s not a basher) and we’re planning on walking during the hour. Good luck!!

  2. I’m with Harper, let us see you taking a shower! COME ON!

    I’m sorry about the screaming. Maybe give her some bourbon, I hear kids like that.

    I think Bonny might be a superhero. Hopefully when she is done saving the world, she can check her voicemail or something.

  3. Yeah…the worst part about being a mom?? The other moms. No doubt about it.

    I’m lucky to have met some really great moms….but not very many at the kiddo’s school and activities. I’m invisible around them too.

  4. Oh, I so here you on that post. I would so be done with all of that drama.

    I don’t think I would want Bonnie handling little girlys girl scout troops when she elicits fear in all those around her …

    This is exactly the reason I take my girls to horse back lessons … it’s like one on one time and I DO NOT have to put up with other mommies.

  5. Umm.. did I miss where your blog exploded and you are using wordpress? OR what happened.

    I think the Scout think is REALLYfucked up. My stepson was in boy scouts..whatever 2nd graders are in and it was SO stoopid. The leaders were trying to get out of being leaders…EXCEPT when you go up like 27 levels..I think those 50 year old men go to sleep in their scout uniforms. At that blue/gold thing they were cult like.
    I always wanted to be a girl scout though, I wanted to sell the cookies.. and eat them too.

  6. I recruited for cub scouts at my kids’ school for 4 years. Every year, I’d invite the girl scouts to come along, and they’d say “ok”, and then no one would show and all the little girls were sad. I don’t know what their deal is, but the barriers to entry in the girl scout world are way too high, if you ask me.

  7. I am glad and sad to hear that it isn’t just the Girl Scouts of Colorado that cannot seem to return a phone call. I tried for 3 months to get my daughter a troop, even volunteered to be a leader, and nobody will call me back, I even attempted an e-mail, but sadly that works as well as calling =( What a great organization! My Mom recently went to a Boy Scout event, and there were quite a few girls in that Boy Scout troop (or whatever they are called). Maybe we should try and join Boy Scouts, at least they make a great effort to get kids involved!!!

  8. I’m sorry to hear you have had problems with Girl Scouts. I hope you accept my apology on their behalf. I think girls have to be 14 -18 years old to join Boy Scouts Venturers.

    – just a GS volunteer (not in St. Louis or Colorado)

  9. Sorry this comment is late; however, I think it really stinks that no one contacted you! I am a leader in VA and we (the leaders) are sad when the girls who want to join don’t have the opportunity do to some flake in the ranks! Girl Scouts should be the opportunity for the girls to be reminded that they can be whomever they want to be… (sorry my grammar is off!) Anyway, yes those moms do suck– but, have pity– if they have nothing better to do. One worse, how about those moms who go on and on about the children’s unique equity and insight that makes them so much more brilliant than all other children… (despite the fact they are talking to someone who has a child the same age!) Its EXTREMELY annoying…
    Sorry again about the girl scout thing– wish you lived here– I hate for your daughter to miss out– and girl scouts to miss out for that matter.
    PS– don’t be invisible– say something shocking and somewhat puzzling just for fun…

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