Dorothy Parker led a horticulture…

When Meredith takes classes at the middle school, more often than not she comes home with a new joke. This is what happened in the car on the way home from school last Thursday.




Immediately, the gears in Harper’s brain began to smoke. She would not be outdone.




Me: Okay. No.

Harper: Wasn’t that funny?

Me: Actually, I thought it was very funny. But for the wrong reasons. We can’t use Whore. Can you come up with a different ending?

Harper: TORSE!!!!

Me: Yes! Torse!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Meredith: What’s a whore?


25 thoughts on “Dorothy Parker led a horticulture…”

  1. Kiddo is 5 years old as well so we are running the gamut of *ahem* “funny” jokes over here. Kiddo keeps asking “was it funny?” after telling me his joke, which is actually the funniest part.

  2. The fish joke is my absolute favorite. I am 37 years old and still lead with that one. If you sell it, which she seemed to, people will laugh…and then be a little embarrassed about it afterward.

  3. HHAHAHAAHA Your girls are so awesome. And I want a frosty from Wendy’s.

    Um, when you have a minute can you write me an excuse note to give to my boss to explain why I was laughing out loud when I’m supposed to be working? K, thanks.

  4. Who wants a Frosty… love me some great parental diversionary tactics!!

    Little kids 6 and under tell the best (read: stupidest EVER) jokes in the world. No one laughs at them as hard as they do, and a spectator cannot help but laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing.

    What in the world am I going to do when my youngest grows out of that? I need more absurdity in my life!!

  5. My son’s current favorite joke involves grabbing himself and screaming BALLS over and over and over. He says “This is HILARIOUS, Mama. Watch!”

    He’s 2 1/2. I’m certain this will pass. Sometime after he leaves the house.

  6. Kid jokes are funny just because. And I’m glad that mailbox post is below the scroll down. Now I don’t have to avoid you, anymore.

  7. Another episode of “Parenting’s
    finest Moments” brought to you by Fluid Pudding.

    Angie, I know I’m not the first to mention this, nor the only one to continue to hold the opinion…you really should illustrate as many of your posts as possible. Seriously! If it’s a niche you’re seeking, AFAIK, the “Intelligent, Well-Illustrated , and Almost Unfailingly Amusing Greater St Louis Blog” category is still woefully under-represented.

    Speaking of “sometimes not so amusing”, how’s that headache thing coming along?

    Could no news possibly mean good news?

  8. I had a similar experience playing the rhyming game with my oldest daughter when she was about 4 ( didn’t know real words from made-up ones so the game was always entertaining). “What rhymes with car?”…”Bar!”…”What rhymes with door?”…”Whore!”

    Ahh, the good old days.

  9. We had an awkward conversation about the word nookie at our house. At the end of my “common people use common language” speech, he said “Wow. I thought it was that thing a baby sucks on”

    and I curled up and died.

  10. This post was hilarious and so timely. Just tonight my 3 y/o was talking about a storage compartment and told me it needed “a hooker” to hold her coat. I laughed and laughed at that one.

  11. Funny. And my 5 year old son was singing Silent Night recent (we always get ready for Christmas singing in the middle of fall…) anyway, he wanted to know what a virgin was. I had to stretch the definition to a woman who has not had a baby…and make him swear he won’t call the little girls at kindergarten virgins (I can imagine the phone calls from other mother…)

  12. I’ve been lurking on this website for ages, and it’s time for me to leave a comment.
    i just laughed out loud after reading this at work that I’m sure I freaked out people in my office.

    Thanks for the laugh. You and your children make me smile :D

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