Lady at Pharmacy: You’re back again?
Me: I’m back again.
Lady at Pharmacy: You’ve still got the lice?
Me: I don’t have the lice. BUT, both of my kids do. It’s SO much better than it was two nights ago, but we’re still not completely done with it. We’re close.
Lady Behind Me: Oh! YOU’VE GOT LICE?!
Me: I DO NOT HAVE LICE! My kids are getting over it.
Lady Behind Me: I bet you have DOGS!
Me: I do.
Lady Behind Me: Well, THAT’S where you got it!
Me: No. I learned yesterday that dogs and people don’t share lice. Lice is species-specific. My dogs are protected. I wish my kids could take Trifexis. Please add these Pretzel M&M’s to my stack.
Lady Behind Me: My kid had lice FOREVER. I’ll tell you what you need to do. You need to Google it.
Me: I’m sorry?
Lady Behind Me: Yes. Get on your computer and go to Google Dot Com. Then search for stuff that gets rid of lice.
Me: I’ll do that.
We’ve now done two applications of RID on Meredith, the whole family did an overnight mayonnaise treatment (Puddings believe in solidarity!), both kids have dealt with Cetaphil treatments, we’ve used the blow dryer daily, we used the flat iron this morning, and as I type this update, both kids have LiceFreee! on their heads. (It’s already one hour past bedtime, and we can’t rinse this stuff out for another half hour. And then we have to comb out the nits. Nits. NITS. Oh Dear Lord Help Me Right Now Please.)
Our washer and dryer have been running around the clock.
Jeff steam-cleaned the rugs today as I cried and cranked out some freelance work.
Promise: This will be my final lice entry. I’m sick of talking about it. You’re sick of hearing about it. I might give you a little “Hey! We beat the bugs!” blip when that actually happens, but for now? Let’s change the subject. ALSO, please know that I will NOT send my kids to school if they have even ONE nit in their hair on Monday morning. AND, we’ll be shampooing with preventative shampoo at least once each week forever and ever amen, Randy Travis.
Hrm. I wonder what we’ll talk about tomorrow. Hey! Maybe we need to Google it!
(I know she was trying to help. AND, she was very nice about it. It’s just that I’m three inches away from throwing my fist through a wall (I’ve never done that before!) and the last thing I need is for a stranger to blame this whole thing on Scout and Henry. Because look at them.)
(Jeff thinks Scout looks a bit like Dave Navarro.)