Taking it to the mattresses… with wood! (It’s not what you think, Gutterhead.)

After four and a half days of NOT being in school, the kids are now back in school. Like Jeff, the girls allow their bodies to shut down on holiday weekends. It’s almost as if they store up the germs and release them the second they step off of the bus onto the edge of a long weekend. I checked the calendar, and Meredith was sick all through the Presidents’ Day weekend last year. This year she and Harper were both sick. Every time Jeff takes a mini-vacation from work, he ends up sprawled out on the bed listening to me yell things like, “You should call work and TELL THEM TO SWITCH THIS FROM VACATION TO SICK BECAUSE THIS IS *NO* VACATION!!!” (I’m a joy to be around when people are ailing.)

Here I sit with a looming deadline, a butter toffee coffee (that’s what I said) in my hand, and an ear bent toward the door so I can listen for the mattress man. About a week ago, Jeff and I spent an hour walking around a large room filled with beds. We lied down. We stood up and walked to the next bed. We suddenly felt the need to lie down again. The other customers in the store were also lying down and standing up and walking a few steps only to become exhausted once more. I started laughing The Laugh of No Sound and singing the opening theme from Koyaanisqatsi as we all napped, arose, took a few steps, and napped again.

(Meredith eventually killed the joy by asking, “What if someone in this room has lice?” With that, our bed hopping came to a screeching halt.)

In the mattress store, I learned that I enjoy sleeping on a firm bed. A VERY firm bed. Jeff learned to appreciate the adage from that old cross-stitch sampler that states, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” We put in our order for an Honorable Firm, and here I sit. Waiting for the delivery. I have a three hour window and a sweet potato in the oven.

Wait a second. I have huge news! Do you remember when we moved into this house (nine years ago) and I said something like, “The house is good, except for the pink carpeting in the family room and hallway. The pink carpeting has to go.” Every six months or so (for the past NINE YEARS) I have harumphed onto the couch and complained that the pink carpeting is so disgusting and I really wish we could DO something about it. (It’s easy for me to sit on the couch and complain about how things need to be done. Don’t get me started.) The pink carpeting has prevented me from inviting people over. The pink carpeting tells me I’m a terrible mother. The pink carpeting does not allow me to lose weight at the rate I desire. The pink carpeting steals socks. The pink carpeting sucks joy. The pink carpeting does not share my political beliefs. The pink carpeting listens to Celine Dion.

For the past nine years (!!!) we have lived not knowing what was under the pink carpeting. We suspected wood, but we also suspected urine or blood stains. (Why else would someone cover wood with pink carpeting?!) On Saturday morning, Jeff went to the hardware store and purchased a few utility knives.

A few minutes later, we saw this:

Beneath the Pink

Wood! AND, it’s not ugly! In fact, it’s lovely! Jeff spent the entire day cutting and ripping and waiting to unveil a huge blood/urine stain, but there was no blood or urine to be found! (If you start your day anticipating an unpleasant discovery of blood/urine and no blood/urine is to be discovered? THAT is a good day. A *crazy* good day! I’m now planning on beginning ALL of my days with the anticipation of unpleasant blood/urine. If it happens, it’s no surprise. If it doesn’t? Hallelujah chorus!)


You might look at this floor and think that it needs refinishing or resomethinging. I look at this floor and suddenly the Ugh! of the past nine years has been lifted! No more Celine Dion! The pounds are rolling off! I’m a good mother who provides complete pairs of socks! I’m a bleeding heart liberal with a wooden floor! (Gasp!)

Nothing but happy songs today at The Pudding House.

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19 thoughts on “Taking it to the mattresses… with wood! (It’s not what you think, Gutterhead.)”

  1. I like wood floors that have had a bit of “love”. It saves the neurosis of kids/dogs/liquid damage that comes with new. Plus, those floors appear to be beautiful and were free! (Also, I hate carpet…I am super jealous of your discovery.)

  2. Coincidentally, I’m pulling up my hardwood (*snort*) to see if I’ve got some quality pile under there!

    (I so appreciate the malaise and resigned acceptance that comes with not changing flooring. You’ve inspired me.)

  3. Hurrah for no blood/urine stains–that would be my worst fear as well–and your floors are gorgeous–why anyone would cover them with pink carpet is a mystery! I wish that were the case under my hideous green carpet in the livingroom, but, alas and alack, we have peeked and unfortunately it is mismatched old linoleum icky tiles…

  4. A good day indeed! Happy songs abound!
    I’m really glad to hear you’ve done this, b/c I remember you saying here on FP how much you disliked that pink carpeting. Living with something we dislike sucks joy out of daily existence, and doing something about it adds joy back in. I’m so glad for you.

  5. Still amazed and wondering why someone would cover up that lovely wood with PINK carpet. Takes all kinds of nuts to make up this world.

  6. LOVE it – super envious. I dream of hard wood (floors!) : ) Lucky you!! Congrats. Nothing lifts my heart like getting rid of something that I hate.

  7. Those floors are beautiful! You’re probably lucky someone did cover them with hideous carpet, otherwise they would probably need refinishing. Now they’ll just need an occasional swiffering to round up the fur rhinos and you’ll be good! That should give you more time for coffee drinking, or mattress lying….whatever.

  8. Lovely floor under there! You should keep a 6-inch or so square of the pink carpeting (framed?) to blame things on.

    It’s very funny in my head, I swear……

  9. Wow. Well, that’s awesome. I mean, you really can’t lose darning needles on hardwood floors, and you can lose them in carpet.

    Some previous owner covered all the hardwood floors in our (100 year old) house with green deep pile carpet, and the pile was apparently so shaggy that ALL THE DOORS had to be sawed on the bottom so they could swing freely. But then some other previous owner pulled up the carpet, but left the doors. I am pretty sure that my kids could crawl in and out of their room through the crack under their door. But alas, I am not motivated to buy new doors, and frankly, the house is so drafty anyway, that it doesn’t really matter. Right?

  10. The pink carpeting listens to Celine Dion. that sentence made my day. did you ever meet the people who put pink carpet over the wood? and if so, what were they like? because i really wonder who would do that. beige carpeting would have been incomprehensible enough, but pink? really?

  11. This is SUCH good news! The guy who lived here before us was a mechanic who installed dirt colored carpet in the living spaces. I’m always imagining he worked on transmissions and engines here. Since we live in the same subdivision I’m all the more inspired to start-a-rippin’. These photos show us hope beyond hope….I loooove wood floors

  12. There is white carpet in our house. White. In the dining room. In the main bathroom. White.Carpet.

    We have four small humans and two large dark haired dogs with approx 800 square feet of white carpet. Did I mention we rent? I’m not really expecting that deposit back.

    Your wood is lovely. (couldn’t help myself)

  13. Jealous!! Also, the fact that you were convinced there was blood or urine under there is why I still read your blog.

  14. That is such fabulous news! No one deserves hard wood flooring under their seriously pink carpeting as much as you!

    Bleeding heart liberal floors allow no blood or unrine stains, obviously :o) That’s why I have them in my home, as well.

    Our bathrooms were carpeted when we moved in. Why?

  15. Oh, Meredith you are cracking me up! You raised that girl right, obviously.

    Foresight! That’s what you want in a girl. That’s also very older siblingesque.

    The story of the wood under the carpet is, to me MAGICAL. This is the dream of every house owner. You are so low key about it. I’d be peeing my pants and write at least 10 blog posts on it. Seriously, that kind of thing is enough to make your year.

    Also, it’s great you lived with the 10 years of pink carpet because in 9 months my dog has destroyed this floor.

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