At this point in time, I like to think that everyone knows who they’ll be voting for in the presidential election next month. (If someone out there is still undecided, I would love to know! Don’t worry—I’m not going to preach or judge!) We all watch the debates (at least some of us do), and we all cheer for our guy and sneer at the other guy and then Facebook explodes and Big Bird photos start showing up in unexpected places and Facts! and Lies! and so on.
Here’s my challenge for you. Without telling me WHO you’re voting for in the upcoming presidential election, and without saying anything negative about The Other Guy, introduce your presidential candidate to me the way you would introduce him to your grandmother. In fifty words or less, because Grandma doesn’t have time for long-winded intros. (Remember. No names, and no feather-ruffling comments about the guy who isn’t getting your vote.)
I’ll go first.
“Grandma, this is my candidate. He’s a good man who cares about children’s health, stem cell research, and the Violence Against Women Act. These three things are very important to me.”
(I’m definitely not saying that the other guy DOESN’T care about kids, science, and women! I’m not! Stop it.)
Full Disclosure: If either of my grandmothers were alive, I don’t believe they would be voting for the person who will be getting my vote in November. (No hard feelings, Grandmas.)
28 thoughts on “Grandma’s here, and she’s waiting.”
Hi nana! Meet my guy– he’s wicked smart, (like CRAZY smart) and he cares about what I care about– helping people who need a little help.
My grandma’s are gone too.. but I would say:
“Grandma, this is the man that I wish would be the next president of the United States.
He does not believe in big government but believes that the government can assist private companies so they will be able to stay open and employee more people.
He believes that people aren’t entitled to things just because they were born in the USA, they need to work for what they receive, and that includes health care.. so we want the first point to come true!
If Fluid Pudding gave me more “words” I’d tell you more.
He wont’ get elected, but I’m voting for him because out of principal.
My guy believes in marriage equality and wants everyone to be able to have affordable healthcare. He also support reproductive rights and has a cute dog.
Wow, this depends entirely on which Grandma we’re talking about here, because one of them probably would have fainted and then disowned me.
So I’ll just go with, “Hey, Grandma! This is the guy I’m voting for in November. His kids are allergic to dogs, too! Also, I have a crush on his wife. Get up off the floor, you’re not fooling anyone down there.”
Hey Grandma! The guy that I want to be our president for the next four years cares about the same things that I care about.
He wants to help those that have no healthcare, and close the doughnut hole for prescription coverage for seniors. This is a biggie, especially for you!
I believe that he truly, truly cares about our country, our energy, our environment, our children’s health and our children’s ability to be able to go to college… any college they want.
Those are just a few issues that are very important to me. I feel that he can relate to me, and I to him.
My candidate’s policies do not mistake poor for lazy, straight for normal, or female for inferior.
He believes that access to affordable healthcare is a human right and that every citizen is worthy of it.
Hi Grandma, I think both candidates are fundamentally decent people. But I’m voting for this one because his view of how a Christian should live is more like my own. Basically: show compassion for others who have not been as lucky as you. I believe that personal responsibility is important, but we are not isolated individuals with no commitments to each other; it is only in coming together that we can be a great nation. When it comes right down to it, neither man can have a huge effect on things–we tend to project all kinds of things onto the president that he doesn’t have that much influence on! So I’m glad you and I can agree to disagree on who to vote for.
“Grandma, I’m voting for this man because he is the kind of boss I’d want in my job. He balances self-interest with empathy. He leads by inspiring. He knows a lot but admits he doesn’t know everything. And we seem to share a way of looking at the world.”
One word to spare!
Grandma, I’m not allowed to vote because I live in Canada, where we have universal healthcare and a lot more than 2 candidates to pick from. i can’t tell you too much about any of their personal lives because we like to keep their private lives private. heck, my candidate ended up dying and people still don’t know what from.
Grandma – I ‘m not crazy about either. Neither guy will be the moderate consensus builder that I think would be best for our country – for me its about policy, not politics. I think I’ll focus on my congressional votes in the hope of actually finding a way for people to work together.
Grandma, this year I’ll be voting for someone who cares deeply about issues I care about like healthcare, taxes, helping people who need help, and giving people like uncle X and uncle Y an opportunity to finally get married and visit each other in the hospital.
Interesting assignment, FP. Never knew either of my grandmothers but I would bet big money they both would be saying “I never thought I’d live to see the day when you’re telling me you’re voting for one of those people just because you feel he’s about as honorable and ethical a politician as we’ve ever seen, respects the women in his family and around the world, would actually encourage those two people you’re (gasp!) supposedly friends with to get married, and would never ever strap his dog to the roof for a long car ride. Child, whatever has happened to your values?!”
I am impressed that you would put this out here and expect us all to behave!
Hi Nanny. Im not too sure about either of the candidates this time, but I will vote my conscience, and I will pay better attention to who I send
into the senate and congress in the coming years.
Couldn’t tell either set of Grandparents who I’m voting for (though they are all dead now.) Teased one Grandma once by telling her I was going to go to Notre Dame University and she hyperventilated!
Granny I’m voting for the guy who makes me believe that a future where my children won’t be judged by what their family looks like or who they love is entirely possible. I’m voting for the guy who makes me believe that someday I won’t have more medical debt than adoption debt (even though I’m insured!). I’m voting for the guy that still makes me believe that hope and change and progress are all things that are possible.
Ditto what Shannon said.
Grandma, I’m voting for a guy who doesn’t seem sure if he wants to keep doing the job, but he does seem to be trying hard to do what he thinks is right. I know the other guy shares our religion, but I don’t think he shares our beliefs.
Grammie – remember a long time ago, you told me to pick a guy who’s smart, funny, kind and honest? And it wouldn’t hurt if he was good-looking, too? Well, I want to introduce you to that guy. He’s written a few books, and he believes that, at heart, all people want the same modest things for themselves and for their families. He believes that governments can help in these pursuits, and he’s willing to try, and try, and try again to make good things happen. I know you’re going to like him a lot, and he’s going to like you, too, because he was wicked fond of his own grandmother.
Hi, Grandma! I would like you to meet the man I am voting for. He treats people with respect, believes everyone should have access to affordable healthcare, supports marriage equality and believes I am smart enough to make important decisions about my body and my family that are nobody’s business but mine. And education! He values education for everyone as much as we do!
Also, I miss you. I miss you terribly.
Grandmom, I’d like you to meet the man I’m hoping will be our president for the next four years. He has worked hard to help the middle class from becoming worse off and is an animal lover too. I know you suffered through the depression without a lot so I’m sure you’d like to see others get the help you wish you had. I really think my candidate is the man to make that happen. He won’t let big business run roughshod over small business like happened to granddad. I know you think he’s not like you but I really think if you listened to his policies you’d find out that he’s more like you than you think. Also, now that dad’s up there; ask him and he’ll tell you all about him and I know you trusted him to care for your family for years.
G-ma, my candidate is not perfect but he seems to understand one of the major principles our country was founded upon–freedom of religion and the separation of church and state. He’s been working hard to right the ship with the odds stacked against him and still made some real progress.
I’m Canadian. We’re still stuck with our guy.
Hey Grandma, put down the bourbon, I want you to meet a guy whose words match his deeds. Now untuck your dress out of your pantyhose and say Hi.
Hi Gram, meet my candidate, he understands the complexities of our economic reality and tries to make the compassionate decision to help those who need it. He believes in the rights of women to have control over their bodies, that all people should have access to affordable health care, that education should be an option for all, marriage is a right, and that accepts a global reality and doesn’t feel there are only two options: to dominate or be dominated.
Ok, more that 50 but I could go on and on. My grandma would be feeding him by now anyway.
I’m not voting for either one of the candidates because I can’t do so with a clear conscience. I know if I start explaining why, you will just get upset and tell me to go bug grandpa. So, I’ll simply leave it at that.
(This might be too snarky, so skip if you don’t like that sort of thing, but I can’t resist.)
Meet my new guy. He’s rich and he said he’d buy me a pony.
Oh, my grandparents would also not be voting for who I am voting for. But I believe he is a great man and he cares about what I care about and would never tell me what I can and can’t do with my uterus. Because that is just plain RUDE. xo
Grandma, pretend there’s a place called Douchetown. No, not Douche City. Douchetown. My candidate of interest may have passed through Douchetown at points in his life, but he didn’t stay. His opponent, however, not only stayed, but served on the city council and eventually decided to become mayor of Douchetown.
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