Her: Can I help you find something?
Me: Please! Perfume gives me a migraine, and I’m trying to find the new Taylor Swift rollerball perfume for my daughter’s friend and all I see are the $45 bottles and I really can’t be in this area much longer.
Her: You walked right past it.
(She picks up a rollerball thing and hands it to me.)
Her: It smells very good. Lots of stars go heavy on floral and candy scents, but this has fruity notes. Almost like a grapefruit.
Me (really not doing well in the perfume aisle): Excellent! I’m sure Taylor Swift needs it to smell good, because I picture her walking around smelling like sour cream and onion dip!
Her (suddenly angry, and I’m not imagining it): Ma’am, the stars put a lot of effort into creating their scents. It’s not really a joke.
Me (thinking, for example, that even though *I* can’t/won’t wear dolman sleeves, other people think dolman sleeves are the GREATEST sleeves, and some people treat perfume like a dolman sleeve, and I clearly need to think this comparison through a bit more, but right now I’m feeling lightning behind my right eye): You’ve been very helpful. Sorry about that sour cream and onion thing.
This is what I’ve learned so far today, and it’s not even noon:
If you use a stoneware microwave egg maker, you really should clean it immediately after use.
My anxiety/crankiness skyrockets when I don’t have a freelance job.
The stars put a lot of effort into creating their scents.
10 thoughts on “The perfume contains notes of pink pepper and suede flower. I know nothing about so many things.”
I just had to laugh. What you said really was a joke – even if the young perfume monger did not see it that way. And bless her heart for really having a passion for her product!
I’ll have to take a look at Taylor’s perfume – because I find her weirdly appealing.
Oh dear. I’m afraid your perfume-helper was Taylor Swift, going incognito. Was she unusually tall?
I’m sure Taylor labored long and hard for so many hours until her nose was ready to fall off.
For whatever it might be worth – maybe nothing – sometimes I feel bad and apologize when someone else is a jerk. But sometimes that person is just a jerk and it has nothing to do with you. Also, I thought your joke was funny.
I really want you to describe “HER” though. I need to laugh MORE about this! :D
The scent of stars is no joking matter.
Actually, I had to force myself to think of celebrities every time I read “stars put a lot of effort into their scents” because I kept thinking of actual stars in the sky stars. Because I’m a science nerd girl.
I use Irish Spring soap, Fiji antiperspirant, and Moroccan Myrrh (which used to be called Nomad and was the official scent of Prince Charles). So I like to think I smell like the Future King of England leaving his Irish Manor on the his way to represent the United Kingdom in the South Seas…
I think I’d like to meet David.
Anyway, it would seem to me that it behooves sales associates to humor people and be polite. Reprimanding a customer is not acceptable.
I ride a very high horse.
Oh, dear. You actually had to go stand there in the perfume aisle? I always walk around the block if there’s a different entrance into the store, but if I must go through the perfume part to get to the clothing (or whatever other part I need) I just hold my nose and run. Literally. Whatever is in most perfumes makes me physically sick and my throat begins to close up and I get a headache (but not a migraine because I don’t get those).
What a nice person to go into that sick-inducing place to try to get something for a gift for someone who likes those things. And what a good girl to make a funny joke (and it IS funny). I have to admit, though, that if they had a “sour cream and onion dip” aisle on the way to clothing (or whatever part I need) I’d most likely just linger there until the store closed. Smiling.
I’m afraid that I would have laughed in her face.
And then purchased my roller ball from Amazon.
Whatever happened to Love’s Baby Soft or Rain?
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