Do you mean Wish like The Wicked Wish?!

For the past few weeks, I’ve been helping out in Meredith’s classroom. To make a long story short: While in first grade, the second graders learned 100 Word Wall Words. These are high frequency words that we all see every single day. My job is to test the kids on these words to make sure they know how to spell them correctly. The goal is to get through all 100 words before the parent/teacher conferences next week.

We breezed through the first set of words—words like A and The and Of. Now we’re starting to get into homonyms. Cue the hilarity.

Me: Number 15 is To. We went TO the store.

Student A: Like, TWO of us went to the store?

Me: No. Like, I went TO my room.

Student B: Like, I went to your room, TOO?

Me: Number 16 is Been. We have BEEN taking this test for seven hours. Been.

Student A: Like, I’ve BEEN to Florida, or like my COUSIN Ben?

Student B: Number 16 is Cousin?!

I’ll be sad when the spelling tests are over. Did I mention that one of the words was But? Yep. That one got a lot of laughs.

Interestingly enough, no one flinched at As. This is why I like seven year olds. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>


While working at the yarn store, I often find myself yelling, “Oh, fun!” whenever someone talks about the project she is working on. My Oh Funs are annoying, brainless, and as unpredictable as an explosive sneeze.

Random knitter: And when I’m done with the scarf, I think I’ll use the leftover yarn for a hat.

Me: Oh, fun!

Today, after my 83rd “Oh, fun!” I wondered how people would respond if I substituted another F word for the Fun.

Random knitter: I’m determined to learn how to knit two socks at a time on circular needles.

Me: Oh, f**k!

Meredith, while in the tub this evening, told Jeff that she has some good news and some bad news.

MC: The good news? We’ll be landing in a few minutes. The bad news? It’s going to be a crash landing.

Me: Oh, fun! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I chose a tiny bag.

I just took this evening’s muscle lallygagger, so I’ll keep this entry brief for fear that fifteen minutes from now will find me drooling and sputtering nasty tales. (And believe me…)

Anyway. Here are the facts.

I work part time at a yarn store.

The employees at the yarn store are allowed to keep a Hold Bag containing merchandise they will eventually purchase. Up until tonight, I did not allow myself to start a hold bag. Why? Fiber dipsomania, my friend. It starts with one skein. And it’s so easy to put that one skein into your hold bag, isn’t it? Three weeks later, you’ve shoved 3,482 skeins into your hold bag and in no time you’ve stashed away something like $80,000 worth of yarn. And then you have to decide what to return to the shelves. But you love all of it too much. And suddenly you can’t afford to have electricity in your home. And the kids are starting to look like they’re getting scurvy. And you are forced to make chili out of your cat.

Did you catch that whole “up until tonight” thing up there? Yep. Tonight I started my hold bag. Because I fell in love with this. And I’ll be making it out of this. (And, wow. That photo really hurts my eyes for some reason. Bright flash! Overexposure!) So, anyway. Let the madness begin.

Muscles? Relaxed. Time for vampires. Enjoy your night. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

NaBloPoMo Day 8: Now you can see it, too!

This is what I see every other Saturday morning when I step out of my car before crossing the parking lot to work at the yarn store.

St. Charles

Someday soon I’m going to see if I can hurdle that fence.
(I’m not planning on having any more babies.)
((Wait. Have I ever told you that Jeff owns a pair of vertical strength shoes? What with the toe for a thumb and the vertical enhancement footwear, sometimes I feel like I married an episode of Seinfeld.)) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

My arm hurts at the injection site. And that is normal. And so am I.

Thanks so much for your laundry advice. (I have never typed that sentence before.) As I sit here at the computer, I can smell the vinegar slapping those towels around in the washer. The spores are screaming! And, I will NEVER be a fan of Marcia Cross. Marcia Cross, you may now enter My Room of Unloved Ladies. Please take a seat next to Ashley Judd. Enjoy the anise cookies. And the Jägermeister.

This week is sort of whirlwindy.

Tonight? Dinner with the friend who once decorated my rehearsal dinner space with gourds. She’s also the friend who introduced me to Dorothy Parker and Fran Lebowitz. In other words: Parker and Lebowitz, and creative with gourds. This is a friend I shall keep.

Tomorrow? I’m filling in for a co-worker’s knitalong! And we’ll be casting on a sweater using the Elizabeth Zimmerman Percentage System. (I’m sure I’ll be telling you more about my job next month during NaBloPoMo. Maybe I’ll do a Day in the Life of a Part-Time Employee thing complete with photos! Wait. Why did 17 of you just leave the room?)

Wednesday? Nothing on the calendar, and Harper wants a pair of Halloween socks to match Meredith’s. I might devote that day to speed knitting some ankle socks. Luckily, her feet are the length of HoHos.

Thursday is going to be good. I’m volunteering at the school to register the kindergarten kids for their mock election, I’m attending Harper’s Fall Pre-School Party, and I’m lunching with Harper’s best friend and her mom at Blueberry Hill. Thursday night? Knitting with the gang and then finishing the party prep for the kindergarten party on Friday.

Friday? Kindergarten party, where I will be playing the role of Head Room Parent! After the party, we’re taking the kids to St. Charles for trick or treating, since our subdivision has pretty much crapped out on Halloween participation.

Also on my To Do list for the week is “String 42.” I just made the list yesterday afternoon, and I have no idea what String 42 means. I recently learned that 42 is the angle of degrees for rainbows. Also, God once sent bears to eat the 42 kids who made fun of a bald guy.

I got my flu shot yesterday, and I am very much looking forward to voting. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

How to Jump Start a Perfect Day

I’m about to tell you about my Yesterday Morning.

But before I do, go click on this for background music, because it sums up the feel of the morning pretty perfectly. (Incidentally, this is one of two pieces of music that I practiced and practiced (and practiced!) but never seemed to get quite right. The other is this one. By the way, I’m starting to get the itch to pick up the piano again. Here’s hoping I don’t give myself a hernia! HA HA HA!!! Those things are heavy! Oh. GET IT?! Anyway.)

Do we have our accompaniment going? Okay then. Onward.

Yesterday morning my mom came over and the two of us (plus Harper, of course) went to one of my favorite yarn stores. (My mom is itching to start a Hemlock Ring Blanket, and she needed the right yarn for the job. You know how it is.)

Anyway, we grabbed some coffee, drove about ten miles, parked the car, and entered the store. When we walked in, the owner told me that she and another employee had just been talking about me. Long story short? She offered me a job. Working in a yarn store. And I know it’s totally hokey to be all “Pinch me! Am I dreaming?!”, but there you go. Also, I would scream out that thing about “Do what you love and the money will follow!”, but that’s sort of wilted, too. Rattlesnakes! Beat them with a baseball bat!

So, yeah. Tomorrow I’m going in to talk details, and then fairly soon I’ll be working in a yarn store for a few nights each week. And, I’m excited. AND, I’m choosing to spend the next few weeks immersed in information. Because if someone comes in and says something like “Which right leaning decrease do you prefer?”, I don’t want to have to run and find a book.

Next up? Figuring out The Perfect Wardrobe for a less than ten hours per week job. (I tend to freelance in my pajama pants. The frog ones. Just in case you wondered.)

One more thing. You are now talking to the Head Room Mother for Meredith’s class. What does this mean? It means that I am The Boss of All Parents. (Not really. But it DOES mean that I get to plan parties. And we all know how great I am at planning parties! The Puddings are constantly welcoming guests into their home for crazy-time parties! Right?!) (I can’t remember the last time someone not blood-related walked into our house. Unless you count last week’s plumber who fixed our little Feces in the Basement problem. Wait. Feces in the Basement. Now THAT’S a smart party theme!) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>