And I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran. I ran all night and day. Couldn’t get away.

Hello there.

It looks like I’ve been away for nine days, hasn’t it?

Using what I’ve written in my calendar as a guide, I shall now fill you in on what you missed during the past nine days.

I printed some reports for a meeting. I then made copies of those reports and took them to the meeting, where I was once again elected into an officer position. I wore orange and did not have a drink after the meeting.

I attended a different meeting at church. At that meeting, I volunteered to drive to a train station and take a photograph of a sign. I drove to that station, but didn’t see the sign. (I often don’t see the signs.) Luckily, I *did* find a place to purchase a coffee. In other words, the trip was not a wasted one. (Warning: The pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks is NOT vegan—even if ordered with soy milk. The pumpkin syrup has condensed nonfat milk in it. You’re welcome.) ((And another thing: Meredith has now been mostly dairy-free for nearly a month. As a result, she has weaned herself off of Prilosec and is having no stomach issues. She had been on Prilosec since she was six months old. This is huge.))

I had lunch with a friend at a place where the owner knows exactly how I like my veggie kebobs. (I have trouble with skewers (and onions). Apparently, the kitchen term for Skewerless is Kaboob!)


I went to Target to purchase running shorts for Meredith, who has joined Girls On The Run and will be running her first 5K in November.

We had dinner with friends we haven’t seen in over a decade. (White Castle parking lots don’t count.) Our party of four is now a party of seven, taco night is always a good idea, and although Mizzou lost the game, we still had a splendid time catching up.

Harper had a friend over for seven hours on Sunday. It went down as one of her best days ever, despite the fact that her friend had no interest in watching Newsies.

Piano lessons, trips to the post office, trips to the bank, freelance deadlines, processing PTO stuff, dealing with a migraine which is now about 60% gone, mourning the fact that I’m no longer on Lysteda, taking notes to plead my ablation case, and celebrating the arrival of my 30 Day Shred DVD which is still sitting shrink wrapped on my bookshelf. (Kathy? I need you to come over, unwrap the DVD, and promise that you’ll have lunch with me if I manatee my way through it.)

I finished, blocked, and buttoned my Acer Cardigan.

The Acer is buttoned and ready for single digits.

I learned how tricky it is to be alone while feeling the need to take a photo of the BACK of a cardigan.

The back of the Acer.

Finally, a few nights back, I found myself at the grocery store looking for SweeTango apples and vegan cheese.

Meredith: Did you find your apples?

Me: No, but I found vegan cheese! I went with Daiya.

Meredith: I hope it doesn’t give you Daiya-rhea!

Thank you and good night. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Amanda Plan A Canal Pandamonium!

Me: Okay. The music is getting louder. It’s time for us to have a conversation.

My sister: What is it?

Me: If everyone around us starts to dance, are you going to join them?

My sister: No. I’m not.

Me: Good. Because me neither. Do you see that lady over there? Have you ever done that before and actually meant it?

My sister: You mean raising the roof?!

Me: Yes. Raising the roof.

My sister: No.

Me: Good. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I danced with abandon.

My sister: Who is Amanda?

Me: I don’t know anyone named Amanda!

My sister: Is that why you can’t remember dancing with her?!



This morning I found myself at my annual gynecologist appointment. (I know! Nice segue with the butt thing, right? Kind of!) Because I let the cat out of the bag regarding the fact that I tend to cycle (heh) for two to three weeks at a time, she decided to take a uterine biopsy.

Me: Do I have to come back for that?

My doctor: Nope. It’s quick. I’ll just do it before I do your pap smear.

Me: Cool beans.

(My slang tends to reach back into the 80s when I’m at the gynecologist. (I spent a lot of time in stirrups back then, too.) Pants. Stirrup pants! HA HA HA!!! I also wore a lot of brooches and fake pearls, Molly Ringwald.)

My doctor, slightly opening the exam room door: Nancy? Can I get a little help in here?

Me: Wait. Why Nancy? Is this going to hurt?

My doctor: You’ll probably feel a little bit of “WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?” but by the time you get to THERE, I’ll be done.

Me: What the–

My doctor: When I count to three, I want you to give me a cough. One, two…


My doctor: All done. You’ll probably be cramping and bleeding for the rest of the day.

And I am, and I am.

Psst! My Acer now has an arm! I just might have a new sweater to wear to marching band competitions! (See how I left us on a happy note? Fluid Pudding is a roller coaster!)

Now we're getting somewhere. Instead of a vest, it's a half cardigan.

(This is how it works: Pandemonium is spelled with an E. Amanda Plan A Canal is heavy on the A, so I went with Pandamonium. Do not look up the definition in Urban Dictionary. If you DO look it up, please know that all of my Bundt pans are being used in the way that they were originally intended. Yeesh.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

But like a big red rose that’s made of paper, there isn’t any sweetness in your heart!

You know how it is. You go to Stitches Midwest and you squeeze a bunch of fiber and you rub a bunch of yarn on your neck and you eat a bunch of curry (and cheesecake) and then you spend the next few months thinking of nothing but spinning and knitting and curry (and cheesecake).

Tempe, my mom, and I have now made six summer yarn trips. (If you’re interested, a summary of my yearly purchases can be found here! You love that sort of thing, right?! Right-o!) Because two people asked, I shall now share what I loved (and purchased) this year.

This is Greenwood Fiberworks Polwarth Wool Roving. The colorway is “Paper Roses.” (I originally thought it was called Harper Roses, and that’s what took it off of the rack and put it into my hands. What kept it in my hands was the memory of being three years old and sitting on the couch at my grandparents’ house watching Marie Osmond on the television as my aunt drew huge faces on my belly with an ink pen.) It’s lovely.

Greenwood Fiberworks Polwarth


This is Classic Elite Silky Alpaca Lace. It looks gray, but it’s actually a very subtle green. This yarn is available just about everywhere, but I couldn’t pass it up, because I also purchased this pattern, and I couldn’t go home without the appropriate yarn. (I was searching for subtle with a bit of shine and a bit of haze. Done.)

Classic Elite Silky Alpaca Lace


This is Sunday Knits Eden, which is a light worsted weight merino. It will be used to knit an It’s the Berries cardigan. (I tried on the sample sweater, and all of a sudden I felt harmony and understanding, sympathy and trust abounding, no more falsehoods or derisions, golding living dreams of visions, mystic crystal revelation, and the mind’s true liberation. It was the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.)

Sunday Knits Eden (Extra Fine Merino)


Finally, I went a little crazy at Lisa Souza’s booth. (I did the same thing last year, with no regrets.) This is a Silk/Merino top named “Iris Garden.”

Lisa Souza Silk/Merino Top


This is a Merino/Tussah Silk/Bamboo top named “Salt Marsh.”

Lisa Souza Zen Top (Merino/Tussah Silk/Bamboo)


This is a Superfine Merino top named “South Pacific.” (I already have plans for this one. I want to spin it bulky.)

Lisa Souza Superfine Merino Top


And this is a Merino/Baby Camel/Silk top named “Bayberry.”

Lisa Souza Merino/Baby Camel/Silk Top

I failed my practice run yesterday morning, and I failed it again yesterday evening. (I have a cold. I’m learning that I have absolutely zero patience/endurance when my nose is running. The failure makes me very nervous, because I’ve now fallen out of my schedule to complete the Ease into 5K plan before Saturday’s 5K. Urgh.) To make up for my disappointment, I took an hour to finish plying the merino/silk blend that I’ve had on my wheel for the past few weeks.

Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle!

Ahhhhhhh. Much better. (Fiber is my Enya.) ((I wish I had a bumper sticker that says, “Fiber is my Enya.”)) (((Or a t-shirt. With Enya sitting at a spinning wheel. (Or Enya knitting.)))) Enya. Parentheses. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

The oven is my beetbox and I just ordered a pizza. Good Friday, indeed.

It feels like Saturday, doesn’t it? It does.

This morning I hung out at the hospital while my mom had surgery on her ankle. (Necrotic tissue, bone spurs, ice machine and elevation for a week, you get the picture. All is now well, although she got really sick to her stomach right after I left. I tend to have that effect on people.) While at the hospital, my dad and I strolled over to the cafeteria where I ate the worst hummus in the history of chick peas. I really should have known that hospital hummus wouldn’t be good. Lesson? Learned.

This afternoon? We picked up one of Meredith’s friends and then quickly dropped Harper off at a friend’s house. Do you remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Harrison Ford replaces the golden idol with a bag of sand? We’re doing that with kids this weekend. Drop off a kid, pick a kid up. Pick a kid up, drop off a kid. Harper weighs about 43 pounds. I’m guessing Meredith’s friend comes in at around 58 pounds. (Harper’s packed suitcase weighed around 15 pounds.) Equilibrium has been achieved.

Earlier this week, I attended my second-to-last PTO meeting as Treasurer.

The Things I Love The Most In Life On Friday, April Sixth
1. My family, my friends, my church, and all of the other stuff I’m supposed to list first.

2. Beets that have been wrapped in foil and baked at 400 degrees for an hour, then sprinkled with sea salt and olive oil. Seriously. Try it.

3. This song, which is full of bad words and 100% better than the original, which is sung by a woman who is known at The Pudding House for having dirty feet. (Last week Harper went out to get the mail with no shoes on. Meredith yelled, “No! You’re going to get Ke$ha feet!” My job here is done.)

4. Knowing that after May 1st, I will never have to sit at a big PTO table in front of a group of 20 (or so) people ever again. My voice has shaken and my eyes have rolled into the back of my head many times this year. (Incidentally, I’ve been reading a lot about introversion over the past several months, and I’ve learned that it’s okay to be me (la la laaaah!) and it’s okay to absolutely hate being at the front of the room and it’s okay to not attend events that make me feel awkward and it’s okay to be known as the person who always cancels. Similarly, it’s okay that not everyone wants to be my friend and although I’m still struggling with that one a bit, I *do* know that I have a few friends with whom I’m tight, and I just finished a 32 ounce cup of Diet Dr. Pepper, and the caffeine is sort of manifesting itself in this parenthetical aside. My whole self-awareness thing is so boring for you, isn’t it? I should warn you before I go off like this! Anyway!) Last Tuesday we held the election for next year’s officers, and it was announced that I wasn’t adding my name to the ballot because I want to increase my volunteer time at school. That’s not necessarily true. My volunteer time completely depends on the girls’ teachers and if they would like me to give spelling tests or grade papers or do anything else I can to save them some time. The reason I didn’t run again is because I would rather sit in the back of the room than in the front of the room. When the May meeting is over I plan on driving straight to Houlihan’s and treating myself to a chocolate martini with a Ding Dong sidecar, and it will look a little something like this.

Something Completely Different: I’ve been on a kick to finish a few knitting projects.

A few weeks ago, I finished my Damask. I really should have placed a quarter or a squirrel or something on the shawl so you could get some perspective. It’s really more of a shawlette, I suppose.

Metallic Damask

Last week I finished my Guernsey Wrap. It’s huge and cozy and I’m finally figuring out ways to wear it that don’t inspire Meredith to accuse me of trying to look like Jesus.

Sweet Potato Guernsey Wrap

Last night I finished my cotton Liesl. It’s red and blocking and maybe I’ll show it to you next week. I’m currently working on a Seraphim for Jeff’s author who sends us towers of gifts each Christmas, along with handspun fingerless mitts for Gina. AND, I’m feeling the urge to try to spin a pound of fiber and make a sweater out of it. (It’s the Knitmore Girls Spin Along, Knit Along (aka SPAKAL)!)

Also, I’m seriously thinking about planting a salsa garden in my front yard.

Enjoy your Easter.

  ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Dog, Tea, Nail, Scarf, Dress. A kid’ll eat ivy, too.

Our water meter was replaced last week. I put in a request that the repairman call before arriving so I could put the dogs in their crates. I don’t believe Scout or Henry would ever bite anyone, but Scout has been known to pee on new people, and now that Henry weighs nearly 40 pounds, he’s sort of our resident Lennie Small. I’m sure the repairman was happy to see that the beasts had been caged, as Henry remained in this position during the entire appointment.

Caged Beast

I’ve been drinking lots of tea. Also, lots of coffee. No water. This needs to change. I’ll work on that tomorrow.


This afternoon we went to Justice to spend a few Christmas gift cards. The (very wise) girls don’t really get into the Justice clothing styles anymore, so when presented with a gift card, they tend to hang out near the jewelry, the nail polish, and the stuffed animals. Included in today’s purchase is a bottle of black crackle nail polish—something I had never heard of until today. A few moments ago, they let me try out the crackle to see what would happen.

Crackle, Monster Truckers!

(I screamed and cried while applying it. It’s always good to scare the children.)

Finally, I’ve started a scarf/shawl.

Metallic Damask

It will eventually be one of these, but quite a bit smaller. (I lack yardage.) The yarn is Handmaiden Sea Silk in pewter, and if I had to choose one yarn with which to knit for the rest of my life, this would be it. (Knitters, I’m curious what your choice would be. One yarn for the rest of your life. What is it?)

One last thing: I broke down and bought this dress. It had to be done. It matches the scarf, and right now it matches my nails. I didn’t have much of a choice. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I was going to make a Chernobyl joke, but it’s still too soon.

I’ve been doing a lot of this lately:

Walk, Don't Run!

In the past five days, I’ve watched four Cary Grant movies. I started out with An Affair to Remember, next up was People Will Talk, then The Grass is Greener, and Walk, Don’t Run. I started Charade last night and will probably finish it this evening. The bowl you see in front of the screen isn’t for ice cream or coffee (or circus peanuts or cubes of cheese or Swedish Fish or wasabi peas). It’s a bowl that Gina made (she’s a potter!), and it keeps my yarn from falling off of the computer stand. It’s brilliant. Let me show it to you.

Yarn Slit!

The side of the bowl has a spiral slit. You pass the yarn through the slit, and that allows the ball of yarn to spin and flop all over inside the bowl, but it never pops out onto the floor!

Yarn Bowl!

(I’m currently working with brown alpaca yarn. I’m making one of these hats for the sister of the lady who cuts my hair. Crazy, am I right? I’m not! I am.)

Anyway, when Gina first asked what I thought of yarn bowls, I mentioned that one of the local yarn stores carried them and although I really liked them, I couldn’t quite get past the cutesy sheep painted in the center of their bowls.

When Gina’s bowl arrived, she included something awesome just for me.

Goofy Sheep!

Once again, I love (all but one of) the people who stop by Fluid Pudding. (Don’t worry. It’s not you. And it’s not ewe, either! Ha ha Ha HA HA!!! (I’ve been drinking.) ((No I haven’t.)))

By the way, as soon as the hat is finished, I’m going to get started on this sweater. For myself! In that same exact color! (Do you think I should add three or four inches to the length, or should I focus more on losing five or ten pounds? I really love the Trader Joe’s Milk Chocolate Covered Potato Chips!) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I’ve been thinking about Christmas knitting.

As you know, I’m a fan of knitting. AND, I’m a fan of giving things away. Four months ago (Really? Has it been that long?! Yes! It has!), we helped raise some money to get Aaron a bike. I paired up a giveaway with that post, and I’m pleased to report that the fingerless mitts for Peggy are finished.

Karin Plus One

Oh! But wait! Does Peggy have three arms?

Ha! She does not! Less than twenty minutes after I finished the mitts and soaked them, my beautiful dogs removed one of them from the table where they were  drying. The dogs then chewed the mitt and it felted a bit, and I deemed it completely unworthy of gifting. SO, I devoted the next several hours to knitting a replacement. (If you have any one-handed friends, let me know. Now that the chewed mitt has been rewashed and dried, it really doesn’t look that bad! It might make a great water bottle cozy for a long skinny water bottle with a thumb!)

Now that Christmas is around the corner, I took a few minutes of time during my lunch with Tempe (VegaDeli!) and made a quick list of what I plan to knit between now and the holidays. Five pairs of fingerless mitts and five coffee cozies. Fifteen items in a little over seven weeks. With the dogs’ cooperation, it’s nearly doable. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Just filling you in over here…

Remember Henry? Yep. He’s still itchy. Yesterday morning I took him to a new vet where they did a few skin scrapes and found that his bacteria and yeast numbers are through the roof, even though he had a bath less than twelve hours before the appointment. He is now on another round of antibiotics, an antihistamine, and an antifungal. Luckily, this veterinarian firmly believes that he’s entirely too young for a food allergy, so I can once again give the pills in a tiny piece of hot dog. Do you have any idea how much my quality of life improves when I can give a dog a pill in a hot dog slice?

Speaking of The Improvement of My Life, let me tell you a story about an apple. Last year, a friend of mine told me how excited she was that SweeTango apples were back in season. I’ve never heard of anyone getting excited about an apple before, so I headed to the store and grabbed a few for myself. Immediately, my entire world was turned upside down. These are the most delicious apples I have ever tasted. EVER. They’re crisp. They’re sweet. They’re perfect. I must have eaten 25,000 SweeTango apples last fall, and the day I went to the store and found that they were no longer available, I was horrified. “What? What?! I have to wait until next FALL for ANOTHER?!”

I’ve been following the SweeTango page on Facebook. In other words, I’ve been keeping up with orchard news for the past few weeks. I even sent a quick note to them and found out that the apples would be delivered to St. Louis “during the week of September 12th.” On Monday, September 12th, I went to the store that carries the SweeTango apples. They weren’t there. I went back on Tuesday. Still not there. I went back on Wednesday and Thursday. No apples. Last night after Jeff left the house and the girls were in bed, a friend of mine posted a photo of a SweeTango that had just been taken off of the truck in St. Louis. I actually squealed. (And then I cried because I refuse to leave the house when I’m the only adult and the girls are in bed. I hate that I’m such a good mom like that…)

The girls boarded the bus this morning at approximately 8:17. At 8:18, I was in my car on the way to the store.

Oh, people. I spent $11.49 on seven apples, and I could not be happier.

Oh, SweeTango...

I’ve already eaten four today. (Yes. I should probably slow down. Just remember: They’re APPLES. Not shots of booze. I’ll be okay.) ((Is it weird that I’m making a list of things I can sell to support my SweeTango habit?))

True Story: A few minutes ago, I called my doctor to see if she wanted to talk about a new medication I’m going to try. (Long story.) She doesn’t want to see me! She’s just going to give me some samples! Four apples a day kept my doctor away!

And another thing: Other than the SweeTango, this is my current favorite thing.

Quickie Scarf #2

It’s a scarf made out of Berroco Link yarn. It’s knit on size 35 needles, which is like knitting with big bass drum mallets, and it comes together in less than an hour. The scarf I’m wearing in that photo was started at 1:00 this afternoon. I wove the ends in at 1:49. (I made this one last week.) Hint: If you’re going to buy the yarn, I recommend going to your local yarn store. If they can’t get it and you have to order it online, I highly recommend NobleKnits. The shipping is free, and the price is slightly better than most places. Merry Christmas to everyone. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

This is the place for yarn and good news.

Thanks to each and every one of you for your words of advice and/or encouragement yesterday. Last night Meredith took me aside and said, “You know how the TSG club stood for The Shady Girls? Today Regina decided to change the S. The club is now The Sex Girls.” Jeff and I agreed that a line had been crossed. I’m meeting with the principal tomorrow morning to have the most awkward conversation I hope to EVER have with an elementary school principal. Thank God he’s nice. And sane. And doesn’t seem like one who would support a third grade club for sex girls. (Tonight, as I wander in the Land of Nod, Fluid Pudding will receive 35,493 hits from people who were definitely not looking for photos of yarn. However, buckle up. I’m about to tell you about last week’s trip to Illinois.)

On Friday morning, my mom and I picked Tempe up at 5:00 and the three of us made our annual trip to Schaumburg, Illinois for Stitches Midwest. This was our fifth year, and it did not disappoint. When we first attended Stitches back in 2007, I came back with nothing but sock yarn.
Stitches Midwest Stash Enhancement

In 2008, I purchased the supplies to make this sweater:
Linden B. Johnson. Headless.

In 2009, I fell in love with this sweater:
Work of Art Cardigan

Yeah. It’s not really finished, is it? I’m hoping to change that sometime in 2012.

Last year we decided to skip Stitches and go to Memphis. Graceland was very good. The yarn stores? Not so much.

This year, my only plan was to get some fiber. And I did.

BFL/Tussah from The Fold

This Jimmy Durante lookalike is actually a pound of BFL/Tussah Silk fiber. It’s the first purchase I made at Stitches, and if all goes according to plan, it will eventually be spun and knit into a sweater. After I achieve this goal, I will surely feel invincible.

Lisa Souza Fiber

All of these were purchased from Lisa Souza, who is sort of a rock star. She was one of the nicest and most interesting people we met at Stitches, which is definitely a thing because I now want to devote a shelf in our office to Lisa Souza fiber.

When we went back to the market to kill a bit of time before the drive home on Saturday, I accidentally bought two sweater kits.

This one will be my everyday cardigan (brown! with pockets!) for this winter.


This one will be my snazzified artsy meets swanky sweater.

Orange Cia

This is the stuff that happens at Stitches, and this is why I love going there. Sadly, only 17% of you really understand how jazzed I am right now about my loot.

May I say something that just might jazz an additional 38% of you?

Do you remember Aaron’s bike? I am pleased to report that the money is in. The bike has been ordered. Aaron will have his bike, and I couldn’t be more excited. Thanks once again for your support! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Why do I need 24 smiley stickers?!

I just purchased one of those 18-Month Mom Planners. I really wish there would have been a better selection of planners, but when you’re shopping at a big cruddy store that’s going out of business soon, you sort of get what you get. Anyway, my planner came with hundreds of goofy little stickers and spaces for meal ideas and perforated blank grocery list areas where I normally write things like “Thursday. No eodpm.” instead of “Lentils. Almonds. Peaches.” and then I stare at eodpm and wonder what I meant and then a few days later I get a phone call confirming my tubal ligation and reminding me of No Eating Or Drinking Past Midnight, and suddenly the world makes sense again.

This week’s two-page calendar spread is completely full. It hasn’t been like that for quite some time, and we’re a bit bummed because this means No Pajama Days. Today’s box says “Lydia. Checks. Groceries. Pencils.” and none of those things sound like fun, so I believe I’ll also add in a yogoluv or a Haircut for Girls.

I’m pleased to announce that I delivered another batch of cake balls over the weekend!

Surprise Cake Balls!

The blues are yellow cake with chocolate icing, and the whites are cherry chip cake with cherry icing. I really loved them, because they reminded me of one of my favorite ever sock yarns.

Blue Bird

I *still* haven’t made socks out of that yarn. It’s just too pretty. I was able to spend a few hours knitting with friends over the weekend, and this shawl (which seems like more of a scarf than a shawl, but who am I?) became the topic of discussion. Perhaps some of my prettier sock yarns can become Melody’s Shawls…

Like this one.

Woolly Boully Sea Grass

Or this one.

Woolly Boully Kettle Dyed

Speaking of neckwear, Meredith knitted a fabulous cowl for Scout.

Cowl for Scout!

When it’s back to school season, a puppy needs a scarf like a vegetarian needs a juicy hamburger. BUT, when January rolls around? Scout will be thanking Meredith for her thoughtfulness. (And I’ll still be avoiding those juicy hamburgers.)
I’m knitting a hat or gloves for a lucky reader. You can read all about it right here! (Your chances are crazy good! Apparently, not many people want gloves or a hat!) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>